3 Practices that Will Attract a Devoted Partner to You

As my connection deepens with my man, I can’t help but reflect on how far I’ve come in romantic love.

It wasn’t long ago that I experienced a ton of unease in relationships. I had a pattern of attracting men who couldn’t show up for me… I felt a deep longing to be seen, cherished and loved.

As painful as that time was, looking back now I wouldn’t change a thing. Because being unfulfilled in relationships helped me get very clear about the type of man I wanted to be with, and the discomfort actually made me very passionate about manifesting this new type of love.

Today, I’m in a completely different situation

I’m engaged to an incredible man! Not only do I feel secure, beautiful, fulfilled, and vibrant while deepening into a relationship with him, but I also chose someone who wants nothing more than to show-up for me and shower me with his love.

So how did I go from feeling so unsatisfied in relationships to attracting such a devoted partner? That’s what this article is about.

By implementing the 3 practices below, you’ll heal your wounds in romantic love and put yourself on the path to attracting the type of relationship you’ve always wanted.

1. Practice radical self-love. 

You’ve heard it before and you’ll hear it again: Self-love is the key to attracting an amazing relationship. 

The reason self-love is so important is simple… we attract people who treat us how we treat ourselves.

Most of us carry hidden beliefs that we’re not worthy or good enough to be deeply loved. From these ingrained beliefs, we create relationships that “prove” that this is true – people and circumstances that make us feel unworthy and “not good enough.”

These issues in relationships ingrain our limiting beliefs further, and the cycle of unsatisfying romantic love continues…

The way to end this cycle is by valuing yourself in a way you never have before!

Listening to your needs and desires, honoring your feelings, getting to know yourself… taking all the subtle steps that you’d want a very-attuned partner to take with you.

By caring for yourself in the way you want someone else to, you send an energetic message to the Universe that attracts that a matching person into your life.

In other words, you literally become a magnet for really good love.

2. Believe in something you haven’t experienced before.

I often hear the question, “How can I believe in a relationship that I’ve never had before?” My answer is this: imagination, deep knowing, and faith.

We each have the ability to imagine realities that don’t exist yet. In fact, we each have the ability to KNOW that potentials in life, love, and relationships are true. This “knowing” is how progress is made in our world.

As we all know, “I have a dream…” is very powerful statement. When you stand in your dream, things that were once impossible suddenly become a reality. The same holds true in romantic love.

To create your dream in love, ask yourself questions like this:

  • How do I want to feel in a relationship?
  • What is it like to be loved by another person?

 

Then feel into your answers. Get comfortable with them! In doing so, you’re creating a new relationship-reality from the inside-out. This is exactly how it worked for me…

Before I experienced what it was like to be cherished by a man, I could imagine what it would be like. I let myself get comfortable with that internal-vision, knowing that it would eventually come true.

The more certain I became, the closer the relationship got. Until one day, he was standing right in front of me (very certain that I was the woman for him!).

Intuitively tune-in to the potential of a new type of relationship. All things are possible, especially when it comes to love.

3. Make yourself available for love.

A year and a half ago, I started to fall in love with an incredible, devoted man. But at the time, the thought of being in a relationship scared the hell out of me.

So I fled, felt a ton of sadness as a result, and fortunately, learned my lesson: An amazing man came into my life but fear got the best of me. I was not being available for love.

Being available for love has nothing to do with knowing the future or making a commitment. It’s simply about trusting that there’s a reason certain people show up on our paths. When you give those special people a chance, you open yourself up to a whole new kind of love.

Most of us think we’re available for love, but we’re really not. We’re scared! And so the moment a person comes into our lives, we back away, doubt everything, and do a ton of other things that sabotage the experience and connection.

To shift this pattern, start by taking the pressure off! Life is an experiment, and so is a relationship.

When you’re attracted to someone, approach it with an open mind and heart. You don’t have to make a lifelong commitment in a day! Just be available for the ride and see where it goes.

To help with this process, you can repeat mantras such as:

  • I’m willing to see who this person is
  • I’m willing to show up the best I can
  • I’m willing to see where this goes
  • I’m willing to be here now

What you’ll find when you become available for love is that you’ll dive deeper into relationships than you ever have before.

This doesn’t mean you won’t be scared (because sometimes I am) and it doesn’t mean you don’t have doubts (I can have those, too).

It just means you become willing to give it all you got, just for today. The more you show up for love, the more it will show up for you.

I want you to remember that love is your very nature – it’s what you’re here to do.

By implementing the practices above, you’ll literally become an embodiment of love. And when that happens, love (in all forms) has no other choice but to be potently attracted to you.

Please leave a comment below telling us how you’re going to become the embodiment of love. I look forward to hearing from you!

Comments

Corrine

This is gorgeousness. I’m on this path and I appreciate your kindness and generosity. I love the mantra…it helps to slow it down…meeting someone amazing is so exciting and it feels like a great drug, that I want to do in every way all the time…but the key is to slow it down. Experience the depth and the kindness of not wanting to own a person. Thank you.

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Alley

I’ve met this amazing guy on a flight to where I’m currently working. We were both going to be at the same school just in two different places. I felt very comfortable around him when we first met and it was nice to be around someone I could trust so quickly. It turns out that him and I have been seeing each other for the last month. Lately though I’ve felt that I can’t open up to him because he hasn’t opened up to me. I love talking with people and love being able to get to know them and for me to talk to him I just feel very guarded. Seeing your point of view on having both of our energies meet and collide put things into perspective because maybe he’s not opening up because I’m not opening up…its still early on for him and I and I don’t feel like I want to rush things. We live in two different towns but we see each other sometimes on the weekends and we’ve become very distant. Maybe our jobs are keeping us busy but he really does make me happy. Do you have any advice on the situation? Do I give up or do I dive in?

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Edine

I would like to say…I am so happy that I found this article! There is this one person I have in mind and now that things are different…I wanted to engage in love. But I find myself not receiving it. When I read this article there was this major light bulb that went off in my head and I felt the love energy inside me tingling tell me this is what I am doing wrong. Thank you for writing this article! I’m excited to go after the man of my dreams!

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Nicole

“Most of us think we’re available for love, but we’re really not. We’re scared! And so the moment a person comes into our lives, we back away, doubt everything, and do a ton of other things that sabotage the experience and connection.”

This is so true for me. It is difficult to get past those feelings! I’ve been doing this in my current relationship with someone I experienced an intense connection with from the beginning. All those feelings of doubt and fear came up fast because we bonded so quickly. It’s been a lot of ups and downs but I’m hoping we can turn things around and find that connection and love again.

Practicing self-love… Now that is something I definitely need to work on. :) Thank you for the article!

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Shelly Bullard

You’re welcome, Nicole! Yes, self-love is SO KEY to creating/maintaining the type of love we all want. It’t the foundation! Thank you for sharing your story with us. xo

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Suzanne

This sounds exactly like my experience with my ex. Unfortunately, we broke up before I learned any of this and am having a really difficult time moving on from her. In fact, we’re both having a difficult time because we had such an amazing connection. To know that I’m not the only one to experience this is helpful. I just wish I’d known all this before so much pain had been inflicted. I’d like to try to work things out with her, but I still have that fear.

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Shelly Bullard

Yes. Show up in love even though there’s fear there. Just keep going back to the Love within you. It will clear it up and show you the way. xo

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Samrah

Hi ,

I ‘me going through divorce , very painful experience , hoping to meet my soul mate .

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Krystal

Hi Samrah

A divorce is a painful experience, but also a learning experience as well. Take whatever you can from this experience and become a better person. Yes, it seems cliche to say. I’ve been there I know the pain, disappointment, and embarrassment you may feel.

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janwt jones

I am also coming to the end of my divorce. The pain is horrendous when it sabotages you.
I know im worthy of love from all people I even still love my ex butaccept the situation. The next stage is the grey area..there is letting go..but if you still love the person but also want to move on how do you do this? Please can someone advise. Shelleys words are inspirational. Thankyou so much they are very appreciated.

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samia

Dear Shelly,
I am french and I would like to tell you my recent last relationship.This was the same situation nearly, I didn’t want to have sex with him because he is a hardened single man.
He is used to have affairs.Imagine a woman like me I dont want be a more affair .I waited patiently and He opened his mind just enough little to understand He is obsessed by a shock recently and almost a problem during his chilhood.
Our relation has been deteriored because I told him that his obsession about sex and his way of life is toxic for him..and his soul needed a authenticity ..He refused to speak to answer and I leave him in this words in the doorstep..he was speechless short time while I went down stairs. In the begginning He was happy to meet a personn like me : sensitive, educated attractive sweet…….He told me we are similar but I see He has not the same life I try to speak and him He cant He like to have affair and I see its superficial He likes solitude and I dont ..but He is right maybe we are similars …now He is in the silence and I refuse to contact him becaus I am afraid of being denied by him..He have given me a foreigner coin .. the first time I didnt want to take with me then during a date He brouht it..I asked him what did it mean but He refused to answer..This is my recent story ..Thank you for your opinion..samia

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Shelly Bullard

Hi Samia, I’m not sure what to say other than it sounds like an unhealthy relationship on both sides (him acting out and you telling him what to do).

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Jenessa Hernandez

I am grateful to come across such an inspiring article. I have currently ended a four year relationship that I had a hard time letting go of. Once I did I felt relief and freedom to try again but this time with someone who appeared to be more available for love. Then shortly after I met my new boyfriend. He is such a balanced and level headed man, a quality I greatly appreciate, but I feel insecure most of the time. I have been doing all I can to nurture myself but I can’t resist dropping everything for him. Any advice on how to remain disciplined and not fall head over heels because for the first time in a long time I have not been taken good care of myself?

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Shelly Bullard

My advice is to strengthen your self-love. I would recommend my course Manifest Your Love for deep, straightforward guidance on how to do that – click here for details: manifestyourlovecourse.com. Lots of love to you!!!

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Eva

A friend of mine has talked about mirror work like that in Louise Hay’s work. It’s not for everyone, I struggle with it, but may be worth a try to help build self love.

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Anwar

Hi Shelly,

I’m a 38-year old single guy who has yet to experience the wonder of love. I’ve found myself stuck in the loneliness pit for a long time. I find myself wondering if I’ll ever be blessed with finding an awesome woman to love. What’s more, I have yet to experience a first kiss. When it comes to understanding how love and relationships work, I’ll admit I am a total novice. I came here to this website after I saw your e-class on Mind, Body, Green. I’m not sure if you work with men, but if you do, I’d love to receive your advice on how to find my true self and not feel fear in life and love. Thank you and have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! :)

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Shelly Bullard

Hi Anwar,

My course Manifest Your Love (http://www.manifestyourlovecourse.com/) would be great for you. It’s for both men and women. :)

Where you have to start is with yourself… building love from the inside-out. This is the way to call a partner who you love (and who loves you) to you.

Love, Shelly

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Eva

Family constellations work may be helpful. There is a social worker named Emily Bolden who does constellations with her partner Dan Cohen. They have a website about their work.

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Jose Gomez

Hello everyone!
Hello Shelly, first of all, Is this eCourse suitable for men too? I know you from MBG website, is it the same course you have there??

Thanks

Jose

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Krystal

Hi Shelly

I not only didn’t love myself, but I can see how it played out in my marriage. Currently divorced, but the love I have found within myself now is so divine! Through meditation, being still, enjoying the quiet times, and really looking within myself my journey to love myself has been just that… A journey. I still have a ways to go, but the feeling of self love that I have encompasses my life and now I’m able to truly extend it to others. My ex and I talk more now than we did toward the demise of our marriage. And if nothing else happens between us we will always remain friends.

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Shelly Bullard

That’s so beautiful, Krystal. And so true! The darkest times/ experiences are often just the thing that leads us to the light. Thank you for your comment. xo

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Theresa

My heart is healing after discovering my husband of 19 years had an affair with a co-worker which lasted over a year. We have done counseling and worked to repair our relationship over the past 15 months, but when I really get quiet and listen to my heart and soul I don’t think I can be with someone who was so deceitful for so long. We have both made mistakes over the years and neither are perfect, but I feel there is more out there for me. I am afraid to give up the life and family we have built since age 18 and wonder if I just need to focus on my own growth or if I just need to move forward. I appreciate any advice you have to offer.

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Shelly Bullard

Your own growth will be the thing that moves you forward. Sending love, Theresa. xo

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Eva

I am so sorry you went through this. Sending love for your healing. Ester Perel has written about affairs and what it means for both parties. In some cases, affairs are distraction and used to divert someone from working on issues in their primary relationship.

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Monica Garcia

Hi Shelly. I am so grateful I saw your article on MBG (haven’t red their emails in a while). What a great feeling to find someone talking on a higher perspective and at a ACIM level!. Thank you so much for sharing all this love and help us on this journey back to know who we really are! Love, Monica ;)

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Lula

I just can’t find the path to self-love, I do not see the light. I live in a sad marriage, he does not want share, grow, change or communicate…. and I feel stupid for falling for him as if i did not deserve any better. How can I find true love, already married with 2 kids?

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janwt jones

If you are in darkness like that then its hard. My suggestion would be to wake up or go to bed with a pen and paper and begin writing all the things you are grateful to him for. Search deep..there will be many..then leave him a note on his pillow thanking him each morning for those things. It may turn your marriage around. I pray it does for you

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Shelly Bullard

If you find love within yourself, your whole reality will change. This means that your current relationship will change, too. It’s mysterious and beautiful how this happens… it’s not always an easy path. But it is true. Lots of love to you.

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robin

Hello im not in any kind of relationship because i will not allow myself to until i learn to luv myself first. I find i beat myself up and i have to learn not to. I am learning so much from you and i want to thank you for that

Sincerely
Robin C

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Tracy

My experience is a bit different than anything I have read here. I am having to learn to love myself the way I am now. I underwent a bilateral mastectomy in 2014 for breast cancer. I am cancer free now, but wondering if I meet a guy that I am interested in. When do I tell him that I had cancer, let alone that I don’t have any breast’s? This isn’t the only thing a man is interested in, but it is a big deal. My scar’s are a road map to my soul. I can talk about it all just fine. I just need some advice on how to work that into a conversation.
Thanks,
Tracy

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Shelly Bullard

Being real is the sexiest and most beautiful thing there is. And if you love yourself regardless, you’ll attract people who do, too.

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Benny

Hello, This way of thinking and feeling are very simple formula for Creating not just love and romance but creating everything we truly desire, materialisticly, emotionally and physically. This Artical is Ok for someone who makes their everyday decisions based on thier circumstances, and believe they cant change thier circumstances, This Artical will help these people looking for Love, but it won’t help them hold onto it,
Why? Because they believe they cant change their Circumstance. This Artical is missing the most important power we have, That is the ability to control our subconcious thought, controlling this will change circumstance. To do this we you must be true to yourself at all times,(speak the truth, live the truth) What unfortunatly happens is that we try to impress the people around us by leading them to believe that you are somebody your not, BUT what you don’t understand is that you have attracted them because they are a True projection in some way of yourself, wether it be similiar interests, age, parenting roles, the same favourite sport team ect… The instant connection is created through (like this artical explains) the power of Thought,
This artical explains you need to FEEL you are worthy, FEEL you deserve romance and passion ect… Which is correct But unless you are full aware that what you Truly feel, truly want and truly believe is our the subconcious though, it is who we what we want and what we believe we can have, Our subconcious thought will then look for this in auto pilot as we live day to day, And the universal law is that our subconcious thought ill attract thos to us and when found before we see it, then a thought will pop up and you will think wow, i’ve always that eg. (finding love and noticing physical attraction, and As This Artical says you will must feel and elieve that you deserve it, this is the formula for finding what you are looking for yes,
But thats all, FINDING what it is your looking for,
This Artical doex not mention How to Keep what it is you thought you have found, BUT not how to keep it, You can keep what it is you have found By For once being honest in who you are and what it is you want, but i garentee the both of you will have very similiar interests and a very similiar attraction to eachother, How do you think you bumped into what it is you want and who it is you are looking for,
This is when our sub concious thought of The Fear of loosing this come in, When we are aware of how your subconcious thought works, and in this eg, the Fear of our circumstances, which ends most relationships before they start, By being aware at this very moment (and you will feel this awareness) because you will feel like you need to sound better than you think you really are, This is the turning point in your life that will change your circumstance, How by speaking the truth, You meet a Lady and the connection is there, if you want to buy her dinner but it will mean your rent will be short this week then tell her you want to buy her dinner but you cannot afford it, not that you arn’t hungry or had a big lunch, because when she hears your stomach rumble, she sill question every thing you say,be honest and she wont run away, she will instanty know you are a man of truth and will offer to cook for you, if she wants to go skinny dipping but you cant swim, tell her you can’t swim, if her shoea don’t match her dress, tell her, if you don’t like a movie you are watching, tell her ( she probably feels the same). This is how to get to know someone the only way with a happy ending,
The only way to find Passion and Romance is to be truthful with yourself and eachother, Don’t waste time creating and living a lie you may have to live with for a long time, you will never feel the Intimacy you subconcious will forever be looking for and not only do hurt yourself by taking this awey but you will also hurt your partner, the one person wanted to impress from the start,
Don’t let a gentleman who cant afford to take your Lady to dinner but can make her forget that her heart was ever broken by you because you lied to yourself,
The power of Thought
The power of Choice
The power of Now
Will lead to the power of Creating what you ever wanted
None of this is possible with even 1 little white lie,
My World is so beautiful, I have everything i have ever wanted, and now all that is left for me now is to teach the importance of being True to yourself,
If the truth is. You don’t like what you see in yourself and ignore it then you will never find what you are looking for, The most anybody will feel for you or see in you is the way you feel and see yourself,as this atrtical says, but remember no lie can change who you are and no lie can get you what you want forever.

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Viviana

I just read this article and there is so much truth in it. I find that having a relationship with a person is very hard. I think as women and men we need to both put in work to make it blossom. I just turned 34 and I feel like I’m finally ready to live life by loving myself, not expecting anything from people, and being grateful for the blessings I have. It is hard but only you can push yourself in that direction. If you think about it, you spend most of your time with yourself. So you need to make you happy. Hope everyone can find that happiness.

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Diane

I wish that I had discovered a Shelly Bullard many years ago. I learnt not to trust others as a child and married an emotional y abusive man. Loving me first is something that I can work on . I can dance and I have my lovely girls. I am hopeful that I can find love or rather my energy will attract it.

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Shelly Bullard

Cute that you wish you had discovered me years ago. I love that. :)

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Kasia

Love your article Shelly!
Sometimes I wonder if we attract people who treat us how we treat ourselves or we attract people who treat us how we were treated in our childhood. Or maybe one comes from the other. Maybe we treat ourselves the way we were treated by our parents…..

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Briana P.

Shelly love your ideas! It seems that I attract “needy” men aaahh (not cool)! They’re unattractive physically and constantly text me. I ask myself if I am needy but I often feel very happy being on my own. I’m working through some childhood trauma and maybe that’s why? Help me repel some of these men with limited self-sufficiency ;) or better yet attract someone more along my “walk of life”!

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Shelly Bullard

Yes – it means you’re working through something in yourself. Something is wanting to be seen and only through your own self-exploration can you find out what that is.

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Renee

Shelly, you’ve said

“When you feel a strong urge to enter a relationship with another person, rest assured, you have found a soul mate.”

What about the attraction toward the opposite of what’s good for you, for example, many people who have grown up in an abusive home are attracted to a mate who is also abusive. Saying that when you feel a strong urge to enter a relationship with another person feels dangerous to me. Can you clarify this for me? Many thanks :)

Renee

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Shelly Bullard

If you’re still attracted to people who are going to bring up your core wounds, then yes, you can say it’s “good for you” because re-playing the trauma is what will finally wake you up out of it. It’s not necessary, but you can only be attracted to people who are meant to help you evolve. This is what a Soul Mate is.

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Laurie Chase

Really enjoyed this message. I am realizing how much love I should start sending my way, I’ve been giving it all away too fast and too soon.

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Shelly Bullard

Yes! Love yourself first and foremost… the rest will take care of itself.

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Kristy

Hi Shelly, Thank you for all you do, you have helped me become the person i am today. I’m so happy and full of love. My concern is, being that i have this loving magnetic persona, i still haven’t attracted the one. I’m 38 live in a small area and i’m surrounded by married couples and families, so the pressure is intense, being this is my desires. I put energy into these desires everyday. Do i need to make actual steps to bring the one closer to me, or is this attractive energy i have enough, to sit back and connect with the natural paths i cross? Thank You. Kristy

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Shelly Bullard

If you really want to manifest the greatest relationship of your life (fast) then yes, it helps to do work on it. That’s what I teach in my course Manifest Your Love (manifestyourlovecourse.com) so if you’re really serious, you might want to check that out. Lots of love to you! xo

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Rebecca

Hi Shelly, thanks for such an amazing article. I recently made significant changes to bring about more self-love into my life and less than a week after beginning the journey to be open to love from a man, a great guy came into my life. I was taken by such surprise! I began to have such an amazing time but I couldn’t deal with all the fear I felt, so I ran! It was comforting to hear you talk about your experience. The challenge now is the strong desire to have another chance with him but I’m concerned that desire may delay my next soul mate from showing up. How did you move forward? Thank you:)

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