How to Attract a Devoted Partner (3 Essential Steps)

Devotion is one of my favorite words. 

To me it means my heart is open, my mind is still, my attention is focused, and love is surging through my body. Needless to say, this is one of my favorite states to be in. 

When it comes to relationships, I think devotion (both towards another person and that person towards you) is one a peak experiences we can have.

Devotion happens at the height of love.

Because of this, I want to teach you how to create more of it.

In the video below, I offer 3 essential steps to attract a devoted partner and increase the essence of devotion in your own life. Click below to watch it.

Now I’d love to hear from you. In the comments below, please tell us the steps you’re going to take to create more devotion in your life and relationship. I look forward to hearing from you!

Comments

Danitza

Hi Shelly! Thank you for this video. Sometimes it can be read con the internet or in some magazines that you don’t have to show too much interest and keep cool in order to avoid frightening a man. So, for example, they say “do not dress too fancy in the first date, so he doesn’t notice you want a romantic relationship”, or they advice to avoid talking about marriage or kids because he might feel you want a long term relationship and run away. But I think that those advices do not help being devoted to love, because love is about giving and also risking. I think that being devoted to love means not todo be frightened to show your true feelings to a man (without being needy, Of course!) and

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Shelly Bullard

I think you have to be YOU and not worry about how the man is going to react to it. If you are so focused on what to do and not do, you lose contact with your authenticity. If you have children and are interested in marriage, then you’ll want to be with a man who wants the same things. Therefore, the guys who would be “scared off” by that topic aren’t good matches for you anyway.

Be careful about approaching relationships with the energy of “I want to GET this from you” – that scares everyone off. xo

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Jenna

Dear Shelly,

Thank you so much for this video. It’s actually exactly what I needed as I was going through a confused phase.
I’ve been following your website for a year or so,
Thank you so much for all that you share. I feel particularly connected to today’s topic… Your share about devotion to love is just so beautiful, and clears a lot of unnecessary jargon that we’ve been fed about relationships as we grow up. I’m only 22 and am experiencing my first serious relationship, and I’m so glad that you have been here with me, guiding me through being a powerful and loving woman, even when I was not in a relationship. Now that I am in one, much of what you say makes concrete sense and I’m reminded to constantly bring the attention back to myself, to take care of my heart and honor my true feelings. I’m reminded to be more compassionate, loving, and understanding about my partner, and see the beauty in him that attracted me in the first place. And I’m reminded that love is the ultimate truth that connects us all, and as you said, never give in to the fear and go in and out, but instead, be an explorer and see for myself how I feel about these brand new experiences, before I decide whether or not it’s right for me…
Thank you, as I was watching the video I couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful you are, inside and out. You are a gift :)
Love,
Jen

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Shelly Bullard

Jen, that is such a beautiful message to receive from you. It brings tears to my eyes. :) I am so happy that at such a young age (22!) you are following and learning these concepts. Let them continue to deepen within you and listen to the truth of Love within you. It will always be your guide. So much love, xo Shelly

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N

Such a nice video, Shelly, thanks. For me, when hearing your advice, I question whether I’m doing what you talk about, or not. The piece that is often a “not” is to respect my own feelings, like respecting the feelings and choices that the toddler makes in your analogy. I still handle them, in part, as though they are unreasonable, because I am “reacting.” Just before I saw this video, I had an overreaction to someone during a conversation, and I was trying to sort out what happened inside of me to bring that up. I am glad that I go through this process of introspection, but this video reminded me (once again) that I am not very understanding or kind to myself as I am sorting it all out. So, for that and for the many other ideas you spoke about, thanks.

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Shelly Bullard

Well, yes, this is tricky. Accepting your own feelings is not the same thing as your feelings being “right” and therefore everyone should accept them. It’s more about being compassionate with yourself and soothing your own feelings, rather than being reactive towards others or expecting them to “get it.” Being reactive towards others isn’t really acceptable. I mean, we all do it, so it’s human, but it something we should constantly be training ourselves out of doing. We become less reactive when we take better care of our own feelings – when we find deep acceptance and soothing within ourselves. xo

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Lisa Frideborg

Thanks for sharing this important lesson on devotion. You make it so easy to understand. I just wish I had learned this when I was much, MUCH younger… I’m still in the process of learning to STAY devoted (instead of the ‘in/out’) to the RELATIONSHIP. It is only quite lately I have noticed how uncommitted I can be myself and realised that I always used to project that quality onto my past partners. I’m glad I’m learning this now and I’m grateful for the reminder from you Shelley – couldn’t have come at a better time as I’m getting married later this year :) Namaste

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Shelly Bullard

I know! Many of us do this – we complain about others not being committed when we aren’t being that committed to the relationship ourselves. Great insight! Thanks for your comment! xo

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Carrie

Shelly!!! You are amazing. You have just cleared up so much for me, I can’t believe. This is exactly what I needed.

THANK YOU!

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Tricia

Thank you for your devotion video; it’s reassuring to be reminded that it always starts with our own true/core/essential selves!
I’m curious as to why the order is Self/Other/Love?
It makes sense to be clear about being mindful of our own devotion, but it seems to me that being devoted to Love and the process of Love needs to be in place first. How can I truly love and be devoted to anyone if I am not firstly devoted to Love?
When I understand and remember that Love made me, and that I am Love, then it is far easier for me to be mindful of deserving to be devoted to all of my feelings, and to remember to accept my feelings and be more responsive, and less reactive.

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Shelly Bullard

Hi Tricia! The order is necessary in the order of importance. Actually – spiritually speaking – being fully devoted to oneself is the same as being devoted to another and to love. They’re deeply connected.

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Charlene

Hi Shelly,

Thank you so much for creating this inspiring video! After watching it and jotting down a few thoughts and my overall perception of this topic, I couldn’t help but to feel a deeper emotional connection to your message. More importantly, to the concept of devotion on all three levels because at the end of the day, the person I attract in my life can only be what I myself have cultivated within.

Much gratitude for all you do Shelly.

Charlene

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Angi

I think that asking a person “what does LOVE look like to you?” is a very good questio or “How does LOVE translate to action in your world?” Is it by deferring to someone, protecting someone, listening to someone, looking out for someone’s needs, trying to predict someone’s needs?, serving, dedicating, devoting etc. I cant wait for someone to answer that question well in my world! Thanks for this video.. I love the I See YOU. I respect you and all the parts of you.. LOVE IT!

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Ahsoka23

Thank you for taking to time out to make this video. I am looking for a devoted partner, and I have just got back into the dating scene after a 3 year hiatus. And these tips are very helpful. I will try what you said and see what happens.

Thank you.

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Daisy

Dear Shelly! I would like to thank you for your wisdom and generosity that you share it with! For your gift and insights that you present to the World! Thank you! Your videos are precious! They really help to connect to oneself. Thank you!

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Lori

Dear Shelly, I stumbled across an article from Mind.Body.Green and loved it and went on your website and your articles/hearing you speak has changed my life! I always knew and read about self love but wasnt clear on it, what I was doing felt more forced and listening to you speak really opened my eyes to it! Mostly putting more expectations on men or other people instead of focusing on myself. Thank you for your coming into my life at a criticle time when I really needed you and that is thru some hard times with a relationship/breakup, my work/life/ dreams and just loosing myself in the process! You reminded me to.always love ourself even thru hard times and its not always about us but what other people are going thru in there journey! But to believe and be commuted to our self thru self love then we will get the life we want!

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Shelly Bullard

I’m so happy the message speaks to you deeply, Lori!! I’m glad you arrived here! xoxo

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Me

How do you stay the course? I mean I can have a good couple weeks or two, a month etc and then I fall into the old pattern of feeling depressed,desperate, activly looking and wondering where is the guy or if I’m doing all of this why isn’t he showing up or how much longer?

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Shelly Bullard

If you feel that way, then you have more work to do. The whole point is to feel genuinely phenomenal on your own, regardless of a man being in your life or not. That’s when he’ll show up.

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