No one on the planet lights my soul on fire the way my man does. It’s a fiery relationship – for better and for worse.
I get activated in his presence. I light up. Quite literally, I buzz. A fire roars deeply and passionately in my heart, for him.
And, sometimes, that fire takes over. A burning rage inside of me.
Seemingly out of nowhere, feelings such as jealousy, anger, frustration, and fear emerge. I’m like a volcano! It’s overpowering and completely out of my control.
Yes, my man absolutely drives me wild. It’s hot. And it burns.
If you can relate to what I’m talking about and you want to know how to deal with a fiery relationship – how to enjoy the burning embers without engulfing in flames – then this article is for you.
Everything that arises in relationship with our lovers – all the passion, the love, the anger, the lust, the fear, the desire, the rage – are all part of the fire-package. It comes together…as a package.
This is important for you to know. You don’t get the burning passion without the burning rage. You don’t get the depth of heart without the depth of pain.
And personally, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
You see, if it wasn’t for all these strong emotional experiences – the good and the bad, the beautiful and the difficult – then, flat-out, we wouldn’t grow. And growth is what we’re here to do.
We are programed to evolve – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. And the people we are most attracted to – the ones who push us to our edges – are the catalysts for that growth. Without them, we would remain stagnant. For me, that just isn’t an option.
And for you, I imagine, it’s not really an option, either.
The Universe wants us to expand along with it. We don’t get a choice in the matter.
So if you’re as into growth as I am, how do you find these relationships that will push you into self-actualization?
You don’t. They find you.
If you can trust the attraction that you naturally feel for certain, specific people (and it is very specific – you don’t feel this drawn to everyone), then you will be clued-into who you will grow with. Because the level of attraction you feel indicates the level of growth you can experience.
More attraction, more growth. It’s a simple equation. Just listen to your heart’s desire.
Would you expand if you were just hanging out on the couch, experiencing everything as okay and neutral all the time?
Not a chance.
If you’re not pushed in either direction – if you’re kind-of indifferent – then expansion isn’t occurring. It may feel pleasant. It may feel peaceful. But it’s not growth-inducing.
I’m not saying that love should never be easy. Relationships are dynamic – they include many ways of being together. (For the record, my man and I have plenty of couch experiences. Pleasant on the couch? Check. Passion on the couch? Check.)
But here’s the point I’m trying to make: Growth isn’t easy.
Real growth comes from a place deep within us. It is a transmutation – from rage into peace, from obsessive controlling into acceptance, from fear into security.
These intense feelings must be activated first before they can be changed. And so for us to change, we must get activated. We can’t avoid it.
Luckily, if we listen to our hearts and follow it’s desires, we are led to our soul mates. And they will lead us to growth.
So the next question is, once we are in these relationships how do we deal with the emotionality of it all?
One way: We set an intention to transform feelings of fear into feelings of love.
Sounds easy. It’s not.
When rage, fright, anger, and disappointment arise, it means we have fallen into a position of fear. Quite simply, we have deviated from the path of Love.
And the only thing we can do when this happens is to commit to returning to a sense of love, connection, openness within ourselves.
This doesn’t mean we push our feelings down! This means making space for what is, and knowing that Love is always behind it ALL.
The person you love has the ability to knock you off your center. Not because they are malicious, but because you care! It’s easy to get overly consumed with them, which leads you to lose contact with the truth within you.
This is the ultimate test.
Can you continue to come back to your sense of self, even in a relationship with someone you’re madly in love with? It’s not easy to do. But it’s absolutely growth-inducing.
Don’t run away from someone because they make you crazy inside; show up to the challenge and change.
Do you need to feel a greater sense of inner-security? Then pursue it.
Do you need to learn the process of forgiveness? Then make it happen.
Do you need to know, on every level, in every way, that you are love? Then contact your source within and don’t let go.
You can do it. You can change. You can grow into the truth of who you are.
When you realize that your partner is not the bane of your existence, but is the means in which you can transform to the fullest extent.
And a new sense of gratitude for him, for her, for yourself, and for the relationship will emerge from the fiery ashes of Love.
Please leave a comment below telling us about your experience in fiery, passionate relationships, and what you’ve learned from these potent connections. We look forward to hearing from you!