One of the keys to keeping romance alive is mastering the art of closeness and distance. It’s a dance that’s not easy to do, but is essential if you want to keep the love flowing.
When we are overly-close, our relationships become routine and the love stifles out. But when we’re overly-distant, we feel anxious and uncomfortable. The sweetest spot to be in is being able to navigate BOTH closeness and distance. It’s a dance. And the way we do this dance is by having passions that exist beyond our lovers.
People often think that they have to share everything with their partners. They believe if their partner is not passionate about the same things they are, the relationship is doomed. I say the opposite is true.
Having your own passions in life adds a little comfortable distance and awe in your relationship. Think about it: your personal passion is something your partner knows about, but doesn’t fully understand. This makes you a little mysterious. Not to mention your wisdom can expand your partner’s experience in the world. And that’s hot!
What’s also hot is when you are able to take space from your partner and still feel at peace. If your only passion is your mate, then you’re going to want to be around them all the time. After awhile this can feel a little clingy–it’s not good for your relationship! But if you can be excited and exuberant about other things in your life, trust me, your partner is going to find that really attractive.
Let me give you an example from my own life. I’m in love with my partner. When I’m with him, I feel that love for him in some capacity. But here’s the thing, I’m also in love with my work. I feel incredibly passionate about writing, coaching clients, and spreading the message about love.
My work lights me up in a similar way as my man, which means I currently have two main squeezes (lucky me).
The fact that I have something that I am deeply passionate about that exists outside my relationship makes for great chemistry between me and my guy. You see, I don’t need him to be “on” all the time because I have somewhere else to go to feel passion in my life. I am perfectly happy saying goodbye to him to go express my love and creativity in another way.
Not only is this a nice buffer between us, but it also means that I get to, essentially, be turned-on a lot of the time (again, lucky me).
Unfortunately many of us do the opposite–we use our relationships as a reprieve. Perhaps work isn’t going so well or we’re bored in other areas of our lives. So we rely on our relationships to make us feel better. In the long run this doesn’t work out.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t lean on our partners during hard times, because we should. But if he or she is your only outlet to happiness, then that’s a ton of pressure on them (which never goes well), and it’ll also be a bumpy ride for you.
Because your relationship cannot feel passionately fulfilling 100% of the time.
The best thing you can do to keep passion flowing in your life is to have more than one things to feel passionate about. It’s not about prioritizing something above your relationship or vice versa; it’s about having multiple priorities and moving gracefully between them.
The more you engage your soul and express what you love, the more you will come alive. And when you come alive, your relationship and your life have no other choice but to feel passionately alive, too.
Engage your passionate-self now by leaving a comment below. I’d love to hear what turns you on!
What are you passionate about?
What makes you come alive?
How does your passion benefit your relationship?
The passion in all of us really wants to know. XO