Choosing Between Stability or Passion? Find Out Why You Don't Have To.
I recently spoke to someone who wants to improve her relationship with both money and romantic love. We started our session by exploring her patterns with men...
"Well, I feel like I have to choose between stability or fun. It's like I date two opposite types of men: either they have their lives together but I'm bored, or the relationship is unstable, but it's wild and fun."
We spoke about that issue for a while (I'll tell you the solution later in the article), and then we discussed her relationship with money.
"I feel like I have to choose between a stable 9 to 5 job, where I'll make good money but I won't feel inspired; or I can have my own business, but I'll have to sacrifice abundance and security."
Hmmm. A pattern had emerged.
"So it sounds like in both areas of your life - love and money - you feel like you have to choose between opposite experiences: being happy and free, or secure and abundant. You can't imagine that there's a reality in which you would feel both secure and passionate at the same time," I said.
"Yes!" she said.
Our deep work had begun...
Before I tell you what we did next to start her transformation, I want to say this: It's very common for people to treat their money and relationships the same way.
In my work, I see it all the time:
- Overworking in a relationship; overworking for money
- Belief that a partner should "do it for you;" belief that money should "just happen to you"
- Controlling with a partner; controlling with money
- A pervading feeling of "not enough," stifling both love and money
- Avoiding relationships and money patterns
- Desire to be saved by a person; desire to be saved by money
The list goes on and on… The way people treat their money and romantic partners is very related (which is why I created The Abundance Course - a program that teaches people how to manifest abundance from the inside-out. It's very aligned to what I teach people about relationships...).
Why are money and love so related?
Because both money and love evoke fear in us like nothing else. And fear brings up our limiting beliefs.
A limiting belief is any internal message that says you can't have the life experience you want.
For my client, her limiting belief was that she couldn't feel both secure and inspired in the same relationship or job.
In both circumstances, she was convinced that she had to choose between security and stability or passion and inspiration. And because our internal realities are reflected in our external lives, what she believed is what she experienced.
As we continued our session, I asked her, "What if I told you that you could feel both secure and alive at the same time, with both men and money?"And what if the way to achieve this state of fullness is to start with a belief that it's possible?"
"Wow," she said, "I never even considered that."
A new possibility - a new potential - was now in her field. She had a new energy in her field, and she could use that new energy to create a new reality.
When we don't think a life circumstance is a possibility - whether it's love, money or anything else - we don't make space for it to happen.
To make room for what we want, we have to FEEL what we want.
To make room for what we want, we have to RESONATE with what we want.
To make room for what we want (and to potently call it to us), we must BECOME what we want.
It's only when we tune-into what we really desire, make contact with the frequency of energy that it is, and consciously choose to resonate with that energy, that this new reality can emerge.
Several years ago I was caught in the same position as my client. I had been with the stable guy; I had been with the wild guy; but I wanted both in the same man (of course... don't we all?).
So what did I do? I challenged the limiting belief that said, "It's not possible to have both," and I made sure to embody both my unwavering stability and absolutely over-the-top wildness to their fullness. And guess who came in? A perfect reflection of just that - a very dynamic, very stable, very wild man. Needless to say, we had a good time. :) (This is the process I teach in Manifest Your Love.)
Soon after, I made the same changes in my financial reality. I started resonating with the energy of living both securely and freely, and it's now my reality. These are steps I teach in (The Abundance Course.)
As you've probably heard me say before: you can create your reality from the inside-out.
Yeah... we all have beliefs that tells us "you can't," but this is just a limited perception that's holding you back. The way to move beyond these fears is by searching deep within and discovering the message, the energy, the TRUTH that says, "Oh yes... I can."
When you resonate in that energy, there's nothing that can't be done.
Please leave a comment below telling us how you are going to create more security and passion in your life in both your love life and your financial life. We look forward to hearing from you!