How I Manifested Love (& How You Can Too)

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned about relationships is this: How you think and feel about yourself determines how others think and feel about you, too.

I always knew this, but I didn’t realize how true it was until I saw it unfold in my own life.

Because of this, I’d like to share my story with you, about how I called in a man who makes me feel more incredible than any man ever has before. My hope is that you can use these lessons to find a partner who treats you magnificently, too.

In the Fall of 2013, I went through a very difficult time. A break-up and a painful family situation had left me feeling raw and devastated. I knew that in order to pull myself out of it, I had to spend most of my time finding and rebuilding the love within myself. So that’s what I did. 

I spent the end of 2013 meditating, reading inspirational books, doing yoga, and connecting with my heart. All this sacred inner-connection began to work on me… by mid-January, I could feel that my heart was starting to heal.

During this time, I was reading a book that guides women to experience the divine feminine within ourselves. In this book was a description of a goddess that I fell in love with. Her name is Lalita Tripura Sundari, and she is the goddess of erotic spirituality.

My affinity for Lalita was strong, not only because I wanted to be her, but because I could identify inner-aspects of myself that were her. As described in the book, “Lalita is the goddess who most successful holds together the apparent opposites of executive power and sexuality, of sexual and spiritual love. Queenly and playful, she represents the most delicious form of the integrated feminine.”

“Yes!!” I though as I read that. Just yes.

The reason I’m mentioning this is because the portrayal of Lalita helped me strongly identify who I wanted to be in the world as a woman. She represented so many qualities that I wanted for myself – she made them real and accessible. Through the inspiration of her, I could feel the woman I’d always wanted to be start to awaken even more. As I teach in my course Manifest Your Love, this is a key secret to manifesting the type of relationship you deeply desire.

Everyday I would meditate into a heart-centered place and evoke the feeling of the goddess.

I am powerful.

I am playful.

I am sensual.

I am attractive.

I am love.

As I did this practice, I began to feel more and more like myself. I felt great inside – I felt like the real me!! Little did I know that I was preparing myself to attract a man who would see me as these qualities, too.

In the midst of this process, I went to a Valentine’s Day party with a friend. The fact that I was single at this party didn’t matter to me… I was connected to the great love in my heart, and therefore I felt it everywhere. I was happy and fulfilled just being me.

I’m sure you can guess what happened at this party… I wasn’t expecting it, but looking back, it makes perfect sense.

I met a man who saw me as the goddess that I knew I was.

He noticed me from across the room and walked towards me, in a straight line, through the crowd.

Outright he said, “Hi. Who are you?” taking my hand, “Is this ok? You’re beautiful.” He was playful and respectful. I liked his energy, and the way he made me feel.

The most incredible thing about our interaction was this: I knew this man saw me as I saw me a powerful, playful, attractive woman, with grace, humility, and deep love in her heart. I had finally become the woman I wanted to be, and this man immediately honored me in that way.

And so, that’s where our story began, and it has continued from there. Several months since our first meeting, my connection to this man has remained as extraordinary as it was the first night I met him. It’s truly been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

After this happened to me, I deeply understood the truth behind all relationships: People will treat you how you treat yourself. They will see you how you see yourself.

When I experienced myself as beautiful, magnificent and worthy of love, this is who I became. How I felt about myself was mirrored back to me by this incredible man. I felt supremely loved, and it all started within me.

As I teach in my eCourse Manifest Your Loveif you want to attract incredible love you must start by finding love deep within yourself. Discover the love, beauty, power, and grace – own these qualities, and let them shine through you.

Once you claim who you really are, you’ll have no choice but to find a partner who sees you in this magnificent light, too. In fact – the more appropriate statement is…  he’ll find you.

Please leave a comment below, telling us how you’re going to connect into the love within yourself to create incredible love in your life. I look forward to you joining the conversation and claiming the love that you are.

Comments

Jennifer

Thank you for your free articles. I especially Liked this one, because this is the point that I am at right now.I realized during reading this article that I am still not loving myself enough. I am having a hard time trying to love myself without upsetting my boyfriend in some way… Hes getting there…weve both come a long way!! But now Im ready for the fast track to the magnificent love that I know we can share.Im frustrated because I dont know exactly what is missing. I really liked how you mentioned where you learned your secrets from by the book Awakening Shakti.I ordered it off of Amazon, and I cant wait to read it. As for today, what I will do to be more of who I want to be is begin smiling to my boyfriend more often :-)

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Kim

I ordered this book on Amazon today, too, after reading this after article!

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Nonna Ylaya

Dear shelly,
Thank you for this. I have experienced a painful break up too to someone who I thought was for me but eventually told me that He isnt ready to commit to marriage and having a family. Our engagement was cancelled just 6 months ago and the past 6 months of my life became really exciting. I renewed and discovered myself. What I really wanted and tried to discover who I really am and what I am capable of. I truly believe in what you said that the key to finding love is to start with the love within ourselves. Though I havent met the man for me yet, I am excited and I feel that Love is burning inside me and that it will find me soon.

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Norma

Wonderful story! Your articles are so inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story.

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Benita Galvan

Love this! I can’t remember when I started receiving your emails or even how.. However i have enjoyed all of your offerings. OF COURSE you would know and love Sally! I have studied with her personally a couple times, (however I would like to MORE) and have used all the Awakening Shakti meditations, myths and practices since beginning of 2012 and HIGHLY recommend it! As a matter of fact, one afternoon after the Lalita practice, a very young, (WAY too young man, 25 ys my junior) became completely enamored with me, like love at first sight. While I didn’t ‘act’ on it, it was the same thing, he came to me. While it obviously wasn’t the powerful connection you have experienced, I immediately realized how the practices truly invoke the energies of the Goddess (Power of the Divine Feminine, Shakti) already present within us to be embodied and manifested in our lives. Thank you for sharing and no wonder I enjoy reading your blogs! Thank you for sharing. Blessings, B

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Shelly Bullard

I met Sally, too! She did an Awakening Shakti retreat in San Francisco, right when all this was happening. It was very synchronistic, and very powerful. I love her – she’s an incredible teacher. Thanks for your comment!

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Kat

Hi there,

I’ve just been reading your emails and posts over the past six weeks and they have been encouraging. However, after reading your personal story, I have concerns that if you just met your man in February this year and you’re already married (or getting married) after only a few months…. well, that just doesn’t seem like very good modeling to making a lifelong commitment, nor to be giving advice for others who so want the very same thing (but not a fairy tale).. Of course you were swept off your feet and you feel you know it’s the right person, but sometimes when you are in a very positive place yourself, one cannot see objectively or even the reality (since everything FEELS right). Not to put a damper on your wonderful experience, but the odds are not that good in the long run if you’ve only had a few months to learn about/from each other. I think I would actually run the other direction if a man I just met came up to me saying the things your husband said to you on a first meeting. I know you’d like to believe he saw all those things in you that you felt about yourself, but he could not possibly see all those things on a first meeting. It takes a long time to really know someone, to know their character and what they stand for and believe in. You were radiating I’m sure and this is attractive to any man, but you are just discovering yourself, so he cannot know you very well if you don’t know yourself that well yet. My advice to your readers is to go slow, proceed with caution and do not get married even within the first year of meeting someone. Having said all this, I do wish you all the best and hope your union is all that you hope it to be and more. Best wishes, Kat

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Shelly Bullard

Hi, I not married. Nor do I plan on getting married. This story isn’t about long-term commitment. It’s about finding love within yourself, then finding it in others/ relationships, too.

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Francesca

Actually I disagree with Kat. We do emit energy that people read. I met my first husband (he died in 2007) and it was love at first sight, all the things you mentioned in your story. We got engaged 6 weeks later, then I got pregnant and married that summer. It worked out beautifully. We are energetic beings.

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Bev

It’s crazy how I thought you married this incredible man. Such assumptions. Yes! I’m on my way to meeting an incredible man who will see me as the awesome person I am and not an occasional encounter
Thanks Shelly

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Alice

Wonderful lesson Shelly – such a great reminder about how we are perceived by others is a reflection of ourselves. I LOVE Lalita!

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Stevie

Can’t wait to get my hands on this book, sounds like a fantastic read! As mentioned above, thank you for sharing. Your articles always tactfully break down the chaos that surrounds our hearts and minds when overwhelmed with matters of the heart. I appreciate the way you craft your message in a way that anyone can read it, understand it, and move forward with the hopes of taking your words into consideration and implementing them into their daily lives.

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jenifer

Thanks!! Love it, i am so grateful for you. Your articles changes my life everyday, i am becoming a better me. Infinite love and gratitude to you!!

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Jennifer

Aw, such a sweet and amazing story Shelly! I’m so happy for you and so happy that you shared this inspiring story. :-)

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Sara

Beautifully written, Shelly! I needed to read this today – not from a relationship-seeking perspective, but in general because of certain things that have been going on recently. Thank you so, so much.

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Najat M

Loved this story! I could completely relate. Once I looked inwards and mediated on the things I’m grateful for, I was able to exude the things I admire and found it in a partner. It’s so true: search within first and you will find it mirrored back to you.

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Karyn

Hello Shelly,
This is inspirational for me as I am also going through an extremely difficult time right now with a painful breakup and other family issues going on as well. I have been doing just as you’ve said – reading inspirational books and I’m going to start attending yoga regularly. My goal is to find inner peace and happiness in myself and my soul rather than looking for it outside. I have faith what is next yk be will come sg thf right time. Thank you for all of your inspiration and support!

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Shelly Bullard

Yes Karyn! Find love within. Then it will appear everywhere. Keep up all those incredible practices and you will feel changes immediately. xo

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Deborah

Shelly, I am always impressed by your insight. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and giving in the true spirit of love. I have grown and felt lifted since reading your stories. You are lovely. Thank you.

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Nicole

Amazing story! Exactly what I needed to read this morning. Going through a rough patch and needed to hear some inspiration on positivity and self love. Also going to check out that book. Thanks Shelly :)

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Anushae

Shelly! Excellent piece! May your writings continue to inspire women to unleash the goddess within and become who they were always meant to be!

Thanks for being so open and receptive.

XOXO
Anushae

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Jordana

Shelly,
You are something else…
I can feel your beautiful, strong, spiritual vibe come thru your articles and they are inspiring and uplifting as well as ultimately empowering…
Thank You Thank you Thank you.
This has been the most transformative year of my life. It has also been the most painstaking and beautiful. Relizing that the true journey is inward is a huge revelation. Then acting on that and slowly becoming the goddess i knew was in there has made me a whole new woman. Thank you for sharing with us. It really helps to see someone like you I can relate too sharing and experiencing joy and light like this. xoxox

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Lei

First off congratulations on exuding your godessness Shelley and this is one of my favorite articles by you yet! I recently gave birth to a daughter and feeling the power of being a woman giving birth has projected me into wanting to tap more into my feminine power especially since I gave birth to a girl. People treat you how you treat yourself is true and I’m learning that from my baby’s father. He loves to point out the negatives in me which aren’t true to who I am today. It’s who I used to be and I refuse to allow those old worn out tapes to play on repeat while I claim my power back and own my godessness. I deserve love. I am worthy. I am a powerful feminine beautiful creative playful wise and strong woman. I love life and I love the women in my life. I love my daughter and am a positive role model in her life and I attract creative positive energies to surround myself with to enjoy every delicious moment life blesses me with. My ex told me I should get a boyfriend and I told him I don’t want one. Right now I don’t because I’m still refining me and polishing my own gemstone. I’m open to meeting guys and to new love but I don’t need a man to fill me up like I used to. I’m okay either way. Having a guy in my life is like wearing an accessory-they add to my life, not complete it the way my ex expects. So happy I have this wisdom now to draw from. Thank you Shelley!

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Shelly Bullard

So beautiful! Thank you for sharing. I love when you said that you are, “polishing your own gemstone.” That is just beautiful. It’s true – we will be very disappointed by relationships when we try to get them to fill us. That is our own responsibility. Once we learn how to, no one has the power to bring us down. Thank you for your comment. xo

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Luisa

I have been reading this over and over, I love it! I have been working on myself for
months to get to a place where I can attract the right guy. I met someone and the
connection seemed to be so strong, it was hard for me to ignore. Nothing has happened besides some flirting and talking over the last few months. Could it be that I still
have some work to do to heal myself?

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Shelly Bullard

Something internal needs to shift – it’s not clear what it is.

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Cindy

Shelly,
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us! I am busy reading all the articles here and they are so encouraging! I am 53, have raised 5 children to adulthood as a single mom, and am now going back to school to become a registered nurse. Twice divorced, I would love to have a man in my life, (I have a particular one in mind, but he’s in a different place, emotionally, right now) and your writing is a great help to me in learning to how treat myself like I want to be treated and not focusing on a man as a “goal”. I have been moving in this direction for a while now, to find fulfillment in my own life and not waiting for someone to “complete” me.
I can’t remember even how I came across your website, but I know it’s because your message is one I am ready to hear and apply!
Thanks again!
Cindy

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RJ

Hi Shelly,

Do you have a personal email that I can be referred to or another email where it is easier to ask questions rather publicly?

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Rima

Hi Shelly,
Thank you for the post.
This man saw beautiful because you really are beautiful, conventionally (from known beauty standards), and because you see yourself beautiful, but this latter is because your environment tells you (verbally or implicitly). and this gave you confidence about yourself and that’s what makes you attractive.
Your rebound was very quick (Fall 2013 to the mid January, four moths at most)
Four years ago, I went through a bad breakup, and I still suffer from that. I have read hundreds of articles, many books, about meditation, self growth, introspection, self-esteem and self-confidence, relationships management, etc. I had a low self esteem level, but now, I have no self-estem, I have no confidence. I wish i had amnesia, I that is the the only thing that could get me through that pain.

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Shelly Bullard

Regardless of how I look on the outside, if I don’t experience myself as worthy and beautiful, the world will not mirror this back to me. I know this firsthand. I hope that you can find a sense of love and light within you – that will pull you back into love (for yourself and with others). Sending love xo

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klynn

I am truly grateful for the opportunity to share this divine blessing with other like-minded ladies!!!
I am a truly blessed, vibrant, exotic, powerful, playful, attractive woman, filled with grace, humility, and unconditional love in my heart. My soul mate longs for his amazing life partner who he envisions as the one he was created for by the majestic hand of God Almighty!!!
I complete his journey in this life to share our passion in restoring others to God’s divine providence.

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Janet Smith

I’m going to trust myself, believe in what is true for other women is also true for me. That I too am worthy of receiving a love as strong as I give. I will begin by looking in the mirror and seeing myself as beautiful from the inside out

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Shelly Bullard

Gorgeous, Janet!! I LOVE all that! If you do it, you will see and feel dramatic shifts. With love, xo Shelly

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Anna

I am so happy and grateful for people like you! It is so great to get remainders like that from time to time because we all forget sometimes that we are Love and we have all we need inside us :) so thank you so much for your work and keep shining and sharing
Lots of love Anna

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Rosemary Ward

Thank you! I appreciate the articles and eBook. Am practicing Love Meditations daily and feel the difference. In this fast paced world we have a tendency to forget the importance of “Love”. Blessed Be.

Love :)
Rosemary

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Kristin Lewicki

Hi there!

I would love to know what book you were reading about Goddesses?!?!

Thanks so much as I am truly enjoying your emails!

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Sylvie Liauw

Hiii , Shelly

Since I add you to my mailing contact list , It’s always nice to read your articles news letters . I can feel you as my spiritual sister , hehe …your positive energy vibe to mine. Good ! The articles you sent about Relationship , Love , Passion give lots of inspirations to me .Thank you so much and keep in touch .

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Debbie

Hi Shelley,
I stumbled across your e-book by accident and really glad that I did. I have come out of a 17 months relationship January year, I was engaged to him and loved him immensely. He on the other hand could not commit. Heartbroken I had to try and rebuild you I was.. I questioned everything….mostly me…and the answers for the breakup still are not feasible. However I have learnt, that to move forward I must let go.. I forced myself back into the world of dating and now realise, that I am a beautiful person, and it is his loss… I feel great about myself.. Sometimes the question why pops back, but I understand it is process I must go through to grow.. Inside I feel beautiful, I know I am strong and I also know that happiness lies within my self. I also write on the definitions and variations on feelings of love, so that has helped me grow. When I feel the ego approaching I write, releasing the negs that keep me bound. I believe in myself..I believe that I can attract all those great qualities that we as women possess. Inner soul searching has always been there for the taking… It is when we are at our weakest point we realise that we deserve better and it lies within us to obtain that. I will always have a place in my heart for my ex, I am very grateful for having the chance to love him, but I am extremely grateful for being am to rediscover me, know what I want and go get it it….

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lisa

Dear Shelley,
It is four a.m. and I am reading your blog in awe and gratitude az your generosity in sharing. I am in recovery since 2003 and just ended a relationship with the man who I have a business with. He was really mixed up and it has been on and off since we got together three years ago. Now we have a business and have to see one anothe almost every day. I am really sad and frightened that I have lost him….I feel like he is my guy. reading your blog, I remember I have to keep the focus on me. focussing on him and why he could not be together with me kept reminding me of my deficits. So I ended it for him. I want to really open as I more and more do, to the Goddess within. Only that way can a healthy partnership unfold – with him or with anyone.
I am so grateful to be writing this, it brings such relief to share. I love the Goddess Lalita too and will focus on affirmations and self love to get through this passage.
When I saw your picture I saw such beauty and wanted immediately what you have!
Talk again soon, thanks again.
Lisa

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Shelly Bullard

Welcome Lisa. I’m so happy you’re here. Thank you for this beautiful comment. It sounds like you know what to do. x

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Shelly Bullard

I’m so glad you like them, Ally! Thanks for telling me – I really appreciate it. :) xo

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Gina

Hi Shelly. Thank you for sharing with us your experience. Is very useful at least for me. I am experiences now a second break-out, at least in my mind. First one was after 10 years of marriage and I was thinking that he is the One. Of course I was devastated but slowly I started to recover. Sport, going out with my friends, praying. After a while I was again, at least for the others, the one I used to be. But inside I was not. I was very hard to forgive and let go, because we were meeting each other every day, being colleagues. Until last summer when I realize that I do not feel anything for him. I was not angry anymore, neither on him, nor on me. After few weeks I met somebody who made me feel alive again. Unfortunately he has to leave and after almost half of year of speaking at the phone, sending messages every day, texting I got a message from him telling that he cannot offer me what I really need, that he hurts me and is better to be a little bit more than friends (just to mention that we did not sleep together). So for me it was again a breakout and I suffered a lot. Now I am again recovering, but in another way. I am reading motivation books, meditating, yoga and as of yesterday dance (tango). And I feel better, I started to love myself again and I can see the difference.Now I know what I want and what I deserve. I am reading your blog too and is very inspirational for me. Thank you very much for what you are doing.

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Shelly Bullard

Gina, I’m so glad you’re healing again. And getting to know yourself/ love yourself in a deeper way, it sounds like. Amazing work you’re doing. xo

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John Nyman

Well, to start I too am going through a seperation with no return, also some family
troubles.theropy is helping me think thru.Family, well thats a little more difficult.
They live in Fl.I’going to see them in May.I talk to them on the phone with an open
Mind and try to smooth things out until I can get there to try in help.Ok, I love the
Advise you give, I am looking more inside myself, and it is helping Alot.Gee I haven’t
Done this ever.Boy does it feel great.You know when your stuck in your mind in the
Wrong mind frame, it’s tough to get out of yourself and be all you’ve wanted to be
and some great advise from someone like you.look forward to other advise. I’m putting this advise to very good use.Thanks Shelly..xo. john

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Ana rita variz

I love this,thank you so much Shelly,i’ll never forget your words and i’ll start doing this meditation!Thank you very much!
Rita

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masha

Yes, maybe it’s definitely an amazing feeling when you first meet, but what about when two people evolve, grow in different directions and the amazing match that used to so no longer seems to fit?

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Shelly Bullard

That’s part of the process of life, Masha. We are constantly growing and changing and nothing can stop that process. You either accept the differences that arise and learn to love each other again, from this new place, or you move your separate ways. When we recognize that this is the path of life, it doesn’t hurt has bad. The grasping is the most painful part.

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Sandra

Loved this, it’s exactly how I am starting to feel inside and I couldn’t have read it at a better time. Thank You

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Jean de Dieu

Thank you for your ebook how to be the most attractive version of…. It really helped to understand the my values, how to differentiate our egos from our high selves! God bless you!

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Dawnanne

Hi shelly-
I just read your article about meeting your guy at a valentine party. It’s funny I read this article before but it resonated with me more today, mostly because I don’t think I was ready for it the first time. I was married 34 years, with him for 37. I fell in love with him as a 16 year old girl, now at 54(it’s been 3 years since he left me) everything is falling into place. I’ve learned to be alone and enjoy it, learned to love myself, and I’m ready to fall in love for the first time as a women. I thank you for your article!
Dawnanne

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Ekaterina

Hello dear Shelly,

I just want to say lm glad to be here, thanks for invite me in your warm and sincer circle. Im in the very beginning to understand and to accept myself, to take out my “Highter Self” over my nagative experience. I do not enjoy suffering, l do not enjoy self-eating, self-destruction. thanks to yours kind and alive, sincer responce l feel l wake up from deep and long nightmare. You inspire me to look for myself, to treat myself, to love myself, to believe in myself and to be proud of myself. Its something wonderful what you are doing , sharing your positive practice here in so nice, kind, human mannaer. THANK YOU!

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joy

Thanks so much am inspired l just have to build the love,beauty,power n grace…with this l won’t miss wat l want

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