: 22 July 2014

3 Questions that Will Guide You to the Ideal Partner

Many of us mindlessly fall into relationships. I know I’ve done it several times myself. Hang out, hang out, hang out… OH! We’re in a relationship now. While essentially there’s nothing wrong with this, the reality is: the more intentional you are about finding a partner, the more likely you’ll find the right person to be with.

As we all know, it’s one thing to find a relationship; but it’s entirely different to find a relationship that’s an exceptional match for you.

In this article, I’ll discuss the three main concepts for you to consider if you’re looking for a relationship. By approaching love with these questions in mind, you’ll certainly be on the path of finding the right partner for you.

1) Who is your ideal partner?

Do you know the type of person you want to be with? Because if you don’t, how can you expect to find him or her?

Before we set out to accomplish a goal, we must know what the goal is. Clarity creates direction. It helps us know what we’re going after.

Of course you won’t know everything about you’re potential partner, but you do have an idea of what type of person is a good fit for you.

Perhaps you want to be with someone who cares about making a difference in the world? Or maybe a family-oriented person is the right match for you? Are you looking for someone who is going to take you on adventures? Anything you desire is fine — you just have to claim that you want it!

Right now, make a list of what you want in a potential partner. Answer the following questions to get clear on what you’re looking for:

What qualities does my ideal partner have?

What does it feel like to be with him or her?

What attributes are the most important to me?

The clearer you are about the person you want to be with, the more likely he or she will come to you.

2) Are you a match for your ideal partner?

Now that you’ve made a list of who you want to be with, you have to make sure you are a match for this person.

In relationships, we attract people who match who we are. They mirror back the qualities we have, and our beliefs about relationships. For this reason, it’s crucial that you are being the qualities that you want to attract in.

Sometimes we think a relationship is meant to fill in the holes of our life; a partner is the key to what’s missing. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. A relationship is not going to fill in the gaps of your life; it’s going to enhance the feelings that are already there.

Right now, take a look at the list you made about your ideal partner and ask yourself: Am I being all the qualities that I listed? Am I being the person what I want to attract in?

Any qualities that you’re not actively embodying, circle them and make a point of being more of that person today. Be who you want to attract in, and the right person will absolutely make his or her way to you.

3) Are you treating yourself the way you want to be treated?

Last, but definitely not least, you must treat yourself the way you want a partner to treat you.

Because your partner mirrors back how you feel about yourself, you have to love yourself before the right partner arrives!

Do not wait for a relationship to feel beautiful, adored, cherished, cared for, and honored. Feel this way now, and you will find someone who feels this way about you, too.

Right now, make a list of how you want to be treated in a relationship. Once you finish this list, ask yourself: Am I treating myself this way?

Am I complimenting myself?

Am I being kind and understanding to myself?

Am I taking myself out to places that I love?

Am I proud of myself, and the way I’m living my life?

I know it can be hard to believe, but people will only going to give you the amount of love that you give to yourself. Love yourself deeply, and you’ll find another who will love you deeply, too.

Remember: a relationship is an enhancement of who you already are. Find love on the inside, and you will absolutely find it on the outside, too.

Please leave a comment below telling us the shifts you are going to make to become more aligned to your ideal partner.


  1. Sara on July 22, 2014 at 10:56 pm

    Thank you Shelly! Your ideas are so simple and yet so hard to execute when we haven’t practiced living this way! I’ve been working hard to become the person I most want to be, which has made me realize how much I enjoy my own company and am not lonely. Because of this I am no longer seeking a partner, but perhaps my path will cross with someone who reflects my own qualities. If it does, I feel that I will be prepared to recognize that person. In the meantime, you can bet I will be treating myself to more of the pampering I’d like to receive. 🙂

    • Shelly Bullard on July 23, 2014 at 1:28 am

      It is an amazing feeling to be alone and not feel lonely, isn’t it? I love that. Thank you for sharing. xo

  2. Laura on July 23, 2014 at 6:02 am

    Thank you Shelley. You have done so much work in the areas of self-love, femininity and relationship and are truly a guide for women, and for me.

  3. Pam on July 23, 2014 at 4:32 pm

    Thank you, Shelley. I’ve been consciously improving the way I treat myself. For thefirst time I am really appreciating and loving who I am, and much like Sara, above, I
    enjoy my own company. I would love to meet someone, and my assignment for myself is to keep focusing on me, and getting rid of any obstacles I may have created to
    finding love.

    • Shelly Bullard on July 23, 2014 at 9:07 pm

      Great, Pam. Keep that up. xo

  4. Pam on July 23, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    And, what a great idea to take myself out to places I love! Looking forward to going to a beautiful restaurant this weekend!

    • Shelly Bullard on July 23, 2014 at 9:07 pm


  5. Audrey on July 28, 2014 at 3:12 am

    Thank you this! This is also a great of setting the intentions for your partner to walk into your life! Heather Strang is also doing a group session over attracting your true love in August 5th, so this is great timing! Thank you so much for this article! http://bit.ly/WKV2tz

  6. Joanne on August 26, 2014 at 1:45 pm

    It is truly inspiring to read about the knowledge you have with relationships and living oneself. I am trying so hard to execute and live by them but find it very difficult. I am raising 2 girls and I already see the damage I am doing to my girls. It’s amazing how easy it is to continue with self defeating behaviors. I will continue to read and try to live by loving myself although it is so hard at times when I have been told for so long I am no good. Thank you for your support!

    • Shelly Bullard on August 31, 2014 at 4:41 am

      Start with telling yourself that you are good. That is the only place to start – everything will unfold from there. Love to you. xox

Before you dive any deeper...

Hi, I’m Shelly!

I’m a relationship coach, licensed marriage & family therapist, wife, girl mom, world traveler and… a damn good manifesting teacher.

On any random Saturday, you could find me hiking in the Redwoods with my family during the day AND relaxing to all songs on 🎶the foggy jazz🎶 station on Spotify in the evening with my man…

I’ve helped 125,000+ expansive, beautiful humans manifest their desires through my YouTube channel.

Over the last decade, I transformed my love life… I went from feeling terrified that I may never find love or have a family of my own to manifesting marriage, my baby, our dream home, and so much more. Now, I want to help you do the same.

Hey love! Let’s manifest love, relationships & wealth together.

You with me?

Tired of the same old inbox experience? Think of me as your manifestation big sister, here to guide and inspire you in relentlessly claiming your beautiful desires. I’m here to deliver a blend of affirmations, meditations, visualizations, real-life love stories and practical manifestation tools right into your inbox.






The 3 Most Important Steps to Manifest Your Specific Person



4 Steps to Manifest the Greatest Love of Your Life



7 Easy & Unexpected Ways to Manifest Money



3 Self Love Journal Prompts That Will Change Your Life