: 13 July 2016

What is Sacred Union with Another Person?

A sacred relationship is a relationship in which we are inspired to see the Divine in another person. To experience Oneness through the union of two.
We become ready for this sacred relationship at a very particular time in our lives – a time when we awaken to the sacredness within ourselves.

When you come to realize that you’re not just a body – that you are, in fact, the essence of love and truth – a deep desire to know yourself as love (and to experience this sacred love in relationships), comes forth.

And so, the desire for a sacred relationship is born.

Below are four truths about a sacred relationship that will guide you to union we’re all seeking. These truths will point you back to who you really are… back to the essence of sacredness itself.

1. A sacred relationship is not what you think it is.

Sacredness is not a concept, which means it has very little to do with the analytical mind. In fact, when the mind tries to “understand” sacredness (or God, the Universe, the Infinite), it’s likely to short-circuit a little.

That’s because the mind operates in duality – from the perception of separation. Sacredness, on the other hand, exists beyond separation. Beyond the mind… beyond rational thinking.

Sacredness is felt experience. It’s a knowing deep within; a knowing of who you really are.

All concepts about sacred relationships are just that: concepts. The mind loves to categorize and define what a good, divine, spiritual connection looks and feels like, but this is just duality in action (saying this is good, this is bad). It misses the whole point.

If a sacred relationship is anything, it’s everything! It doesn’t look a certain way – it looks like what’s showing up in front of you right now! It doesn’t get more sacred than that!

Nothing will take the sacredness out of a relationship faster than definitions and concepts. They literally drop you into the ego-mind, blinding you from the divinity of the present moment. Sacredness can only be found when we step out of our minds, and into the now.

2. A sacred relationship is not always what you want. 

We can sometimes confuse “spiritual” or “sacred” to mean: “exactly what I want.” It’s understandable why we do this. Of course we want it to be “exactly what I want!” But that’s not what sacredness is…

Sacredness is the experience of no division.

No resistance to what is.

No tension.

Full acceptance.

The peace that surpasses all understanding comes when we stop fighting against what is. In a sacred relationship “being with what is” is something you get to practice. A lot.

This means dropping your resistance to whatever comes up in your relationship. You don’t have to like it and you don’t have to be on-board with it. But if you truly understand sacredness, you know that nothing can appear in your reality without you inviting it in. Sacredness arises when you get curious about the patterns, energies, emotions, thoughts, and experiences that show up when you bond to another person. This leads you to understanding yourself in a deeper way.

Remember that sacredness in a relationship does come from it feeling good. It’s comes from the fact that a relationship is a reflection of you.

3. A sacred relationship reflects your own embodiment of sacredness.

We see sacredness when we’re embodying sacredness. We see wholeness, love, fulfillment, and completion when we’re embodying these qualities ourselves. And we see separation (limitation, competition, and contempt) when we’re embodying separation.

You see through the eyes of what you are.

The more committed you are to sustaining your inner-connection to sacredness, the more you’ll attract and create sacredness in your relationships. As your love grows, so will the love that appears in your life. It’s a very simple equation.

People who are looking for a sacred relationship but “can’t find one,” automatically are looking through the eyes of separation. If you’re not experiencing sacredness, connection, or fulfillment in your life, the place to look is not in another person; it’s within yourself.

Once you realize that sacredness, first and foremost, is within you, that’s when deep, loving relationships start to come in. By living from the sacredness that you are, it becomes easy to see that everything is a perfect reflection of you.

4. All relationships are sacred.

Ok, we’ve all heard this spiritual jargon before – all relationships are sacred. But like I said in the first point, this isn’t a concept or theory. It’s a truth we can understand using our deeper knowing. Here’s what it means:
Everything in existence is an expression – a dance, a movement – of Life itself. This is the same thing as saying, everything is an expression of Source (of God, of Spirit). We all come from the same Source of energy.

This Source – or us – happens to express itself in a lot of different ways. All ways, in fact.

Happy, sad. Honest, dishonest. Connected, distant. Present, checked-out. All are expressions of the same Source, each doing it’s own unique dance.
A mistake we can make when it comes to sacredness to is to think it only feels good. But this isn’t the case.

Yes, some expressions of Source are more conscious than others; some are more aware, loving, and caring. But that doesn’t make them more sacred.

Sacredness is All.

Because of this, there could never be a relationship that isn’t sacred. Or one that’s a mistake. Or one that shouldn’t have happened.

They’re all sacred. They’re all a reflection of you.

A relationship is a unique opportunity to see yourself through a person you love. If you can appreciate and accept this relationship for exactly what it is – glorious, dynamic, challenging, beautiful, exalted, wounded, and oh-so human – then swept away by the unbelievable nature of a sacred relationship is exactly where you’ll be.

Please leave a comment below telling us what’s sacred in your current relationships. I look forward to hearing from you.


  1. Crissey on July 15, 2016 at 1:13 pm

    This is. Reading this brought me so much knowing and joy!!

    • Shelly Bullard on May 23, 2017 at 6:45 am

      Gorgeous, Crissey!

  2. Jacquie on July 15, 2016 at 1:20 pm

    Beautiful, beautiful article. Thank you for the reminder. Definitely needed this!

    • Shelly Bullard on May 23, 2017 at 6:45 am

      You’re welcome, Jacquie!

  3. Truth Paradise on July 15, 2016 at 5:44 pm

    Very profound look at sacredness Everything is sacred all an expression of the energy of the universe and when we accept self and other as expressions of this energy and when we can accept the reflection of our self in another than whatever we see is a reflection of our self in this eternal moment. This has all levels of feeling and experience the flow of our own energy the energy of the universe that we are. The challenge is in seeing this and maintaining this awareness when we experience the manifestations of the minds patterns of separateness and the consequent pain and anguish of feelings that come with this experience.

    • Shelly Bullard on May 23, 2017 at 6:46 am

      Yes! So wise…

  4. Alaina on July 15, 2016 at 7:00 pm

    I have a wonderful man with whom I am connected to and with and he knows all about my spirit and how our spirits intertwine even without sex. I must admit it might have seemed too good to be true in the beginning of our relationship but just because it was something new to him he didn’t dismiss it (or me for that matter), he didn’t try to deny our soulful connection toward one another, nor does he try to make me feel weird or creepy simply because I can tap into realms other than the physical. I had another twin flame before him but he was so focused on the 5 senses that he never entertained or even mentioned the spiritual awakening within him. But this twin flame, he sometimes entertains people with it like a circus act, but he embraces our spiritual oneness which, therefore, he embraces me. There is no better feeling in the world than knowing that your lover understands you almost to the point that you understand yourself.

    • Shelly Bullard on May 23, 2017 at 6:47 am

      GORGEOUS!! xo

  5. Jason H on July 18, 2016 at 11:53 am

    thought prevoking words for me right now. I am a big believer in the power of a relationship and your words about a relationship being a reflection of myself, at this time when i am fighting to save my perfect relationship, that perhaps maybe i need to looker deeper inside myself and believe that this type pf relationship can still exist.

    • Shelly Bullard on May 23, 2017 at 6:47 am


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