: 22 January 2014

5 Qualities Women Find Irresistible in Men

There’s a reason you’re attracted to the people you’re attracted to. One of those reasons is whether or not that person has masculine or feminine energy. We are most strongly sexually attracted to people who have the opposite sexual essence than our own. This is not a male/female thing (you can be a man who identifies as more feminine and vice versa); it’s more about energy.

Because these two types of energy are drawn to each other, when a person who is distinctly masculine he’s going to attract a highly feminine woman the most.

In my course “Become Magnetic” I discuss in detail the qualities that create the most irresistible energy in relationships (regardless if you’re a man or a woman), but in this article I’m going to focus entirely on the masculine.

By no means am I saying that all men must have these qualities to appear attractive to the feminine. Nor am I saying that every woman is going to want a man with the qualities that I describe below. But I am saying is: a lot women do.

With that, here are five distinctly masculine traits that the feminine finds irresistible:

1) Presence

There’s something about a man who is present that is flat-out irresistible to a woman. There’s no getting around it; it’s just true.

What I mean when I say presence is your ability to be consciously connected to the here and now.

A woman can feel your presence when you listen to her. She can feel your presence when you are deeply engaged in a task that ‘s important to you. She can feel your presence when you are connected to your core.

Presence is a practice; it is something you can get better at.

Culturally, were in an epidemic of not being present; we find many ways to distract ourselves all day long. But, if you want to learn to be more present, you can! The easiest way to do so is to start a meditation practice. Meditation will train you to connect to the here and now.

2) Purpose

A man with a purpose in life is hot.

Your purpose can be any number of things. It can be to change the world. It can be to push your body to it’s limits. It can be to build a business or build homes. It can be to be to make art, or to be the kindest person you know.

It’s not about what your purpose is (although, honestly, the more it benefits humanity, the better – but that is just my opinion). What matters is that you have a purpose or that you’re in the process of discovering it.

If you don’t feel connected to your purpose yet, the best way to find it is to ask yourself what you are most passionate about. One’s purpose is usually about sharing your passion with the world.

3) Direction

With purpose comes direction. Purpose is knowing what you are here to do and direction is doing it.

The feminine essence is more of a essence of feeling and being. Yes, we do things (most of us do a lot!). But we are very attracted to men who get things done. He has a plan and he’s taking steps (even small ones) to accomplish it. This is a man’s direction.

Your clear direction makes the feminine feel safe. If she knows that you can navigate well on your own, then she has more room to relax in your presence. She doesn’t have to show you how to do it, because you already know how. (We like that.)

4) Honesty & Trust

Obviously trust and honesty are important qualities in all relationships. Trust comes from acting in honest ways, but the definition goes beyond that.

What I mean when I say trust is, can a woman trust that you are being honest with yourself? 

One of the distinct feminine qualities is intuition-  and with our intuition comes the ability to sense your BS from a mile away (ladies, am I right?).

When you learn to be deeply honest with yourself (about your struggles, shortcomings, challenges, strengths, all of it), then a woman will feel your integrity. And she will trust you, too.

5) Humor

As you already know, your humor is at the top of every woman’s list for a potential partner. But why is this? Because your humor has the ability to lighten a mood!

The feminine gets bogged down with her emotions as well as her to do lists. This is very stressful for us!

If you can make a woman laugh, it’s a gateway to flow. Women are very grateful for your ability to add joy and light to day to day life.

For all you men out there, keep in mind that your masculinity is a gift; it’s part of what makes you uniquely you. We appreciate the ways you that are different than us – thank you for offering your attractive masculine energy to the world.

In the comments below, women, please share with us the qualities of the masculine that you appreciate the most, and men please tell the masculine qualities that you appreciate about yourself the most. I look forward to hearing from all of you!


  1. Lisa on September 4, 2014 at 3:07 am

    What a great article, never thought about some of these things in this context but covers just about every reason I fell in love with my now husband!

  2. Mike on December 1, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    Hey Shelly! Great article. And soooo true. These are my wife’s biggest complaints when I’m not fulfilling them. I often get distracted and “check out” as she puts it. Your article is spot on and a great reminder. Good read for us guys. Thanks.–Mike–

    • Shelly Bullard on December 1, 2015 at 10:14 pm

      Thank you, Mike! I’m really glad you enjoyed it!

  3. Rob on January 2, 2016 at 3:15 pm

    On target! It’s beyond a point of reference for us guys, but rather a road map tobecoming better partners and to a successful relationship.

    • Shelly Bullard on January 2, 2016 at 5:38 pm

      Awesome Rob!!

  4. Susan on July 7, 2016 at 1:52 pm

    As a woman back on the dating scene after 20 years and a horrible divorce, and five years of getting “back to myself,” now dating an awesome guy for almost a year, my question is: what if four out of five guy’s traits listed are awesome, but one needs improvement?

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