: 11 February 2015

A Valentine’s Day Ritual to Celebrate Finding Love

Finding love is an experience we all want to have. It’s a feeling of warmth, connection, acceptance, appreciation, and arrivinghome. When we feel love, we know who we are. We’re happy and at peace. Life makes sense through the eyes of love. 

But as you know, many of us aren’t connected to the essence of love as much as we’d like to be. Instead we feel “off,” like something’s missing, confused, and searching for the answer “out there.”

When we’re disconnected from the internal flow of love, we use people and experiences to fill the void within. We become compulsive, chasing, antsy and emotionally starving for that feeling we all desire – oneness, completion, peace, happiness… the feeling of love.

In the long-run, chasing love will never work because love is not found on the outside.

Of course there are people, places and things that enhance the love you feel. However if you rely on these outside circumstances to make you feel good, you’ll find yourself in a state of dependency: happy when you get what you want, devastated when you don’t.

We all know what that process is like; I’m sure we’d all agree that it doesn’t lead to the love we want.

That’s because love is cultivated from within.This is the most important lesson there is to create a life overflowing with love.

While Valentine’s Day is typically seen as a hallmark-holiday reserved for couples, I encourage you use this time of year to celebrate something more: LetValentine’s Day be an opportunity to celebrate Love itself. 

Below is a simple love-ritual – a sequence of inquiries that will guide you to create love from within. Set aside 30 minutes and sit down in a quiet space with your favorite journal. Move through the exercises to honor the essence of love within you. Doing so will guide you to shine with love from the inside-out.

Love-Ritual: Celebrate the Essence of Love

1) Appreciate the love you feel for yourself.

Loving yourself is the best way to practice feeling more love. It is also one of the most difficult expressions of love we can make.

Many people get confused about what self-love is. In my mind, its something very simple: self-love is the act of treating yourself with kindness, compassion, appreciation, and generosity. It’s treating yourself the same way you’d treat an old, dear friend.

:: In your journal, make a list of 10 things you appreciate about yourself. As you create this list, pause after each thought to honor the love and gratitude you feel. This exercise will feel like a big hug, and you’ll notice the essence of love rising from within your heart.

2) Appreciate the love you feel for others. 

There are probably many people on this planet that are easy for you to love (and if there aren’t many, there’s at least one!). Take a moment to honor the love you feel for the people who have blessed your life.

:: In your journal, list 5 – 10 people you feel grateful for; pause after you write each name to honor this person in your heart, silently thanking them for how they’ve touched your life. As you do, you’ll feel your love growing from the inside-out.

3) Appreciate the love you feel for nature, animals, places and our planet. 

Nature overflows with love. Animals overflow with love. Even flowers overflow with love!

Have you ever noticed how your body and mind reset when you spend time with the natural world? This is because nature is uninterrupted life-force; it connects us with the essence that we’re all made of (yes… the essence of love).

:: Make a list of at least 5 places, animals or aspects of the natural world that you feel grateful for. Let your heart run wild – feel love for the moon, the stars, a park near your home, your pets, or whatever feels right. Pause after each item on the list to notice how your love grows.

4) Appreciate the love you feel for what’s to come.

We are creating our realities from the inside-out. When you combine intention with the feeling of love, your desires become your reality.

:: Make a list of 5 – 10 experiences that you want to have in the future, and feel grateful for them as if they are occurring right now. Notice how the feeling of aliveness and gratitude already exists for a desire that is yet to come. Hold your dreams in the essence of love, and you will create them from the inside-out.

5) Appreciate love itself.

To complete this ritual, take a few moments to appreciate love itself. Appreciate that you are able to grow this feeling inside yourself. Appreciate how good it feels to bathe in the bliss of your true nature – the experience of love.

Always remember that love is found within; it’s waiting for you to discover it. If you find yourself chasing love on the outside, stop and drop into your heart. Celebrate the essence of love everyday of your life, and you will shine from the inside-out.

Please leave comment below telling us the most potent thing you experienced from doing this love-ritual. We’d love to hear from you!

manifest Your Love 3 day sale


  1. Ahsoka23 on February 12, 2015 at 12:00 am

    I want to thank you for writing this. I am not a fan of Valentines Day. However I have been going through a difficult time, financially, professionally, and with my relationships. I have not been loving myself like I should. I have become very depressed. And because of that I saw a psychiatrist and it has come to my attention that I have been “breaking my back” over men. I have in the past did what I could to keep men interested in me, pleasing them at my own expense. The reason being is because I do not want to be left alone, abandoned, judged or pushed to the side. And I have made the decision not to do it anymore. I am no longer going to break my back over men. You love me or you don’t, you accept me the way that I am or you do not.
    Thank you for the inspiration Shelly.

    • Stephanie on February 12, 2015 at 6:54 pm

      Congratulations Ashkoa23 ! I feel you on the “not a fan of Valentine’s Day,” but it sounds to me like this one should be a happy one for you because you are learning to love yourself and are just starting to feel all the love that is already inside you. It’s just the beginning and more love is on the way!

    • Shelly Bullard on February 13, 2015 at 3:07 pm

      When you abandon yourself (by “breaking your back over men”) you have no choice but to feel abandoned. The delusion is that we have to GET love. When we try to GET someone to give us something, we are going to end up feeling bad. Thanks for you comment and congrats on your new insight!!

  2. Doudou on February 12, 2015 at 2:21 pm

    A great piece shelly.
    Very motivational messages indeed. Great to be reading these articles from you.

    Thank you very much.


    • Shelly Bullard on February 12, 2015 at 3:58 pm

      Thanks Doudou!

  3. Pamela M.K. on February 12, 2015 at 4:20 pm

    I have been practicing self love, gratitude and my relationship with God so much in the past few months… I know that self love is a lot of work but man it is paying off and I can not wait to meet my person, I know it will be more abundant then I have ever had because because I know I make myself happy…. 🙂 This wonderful soul mate that is coming to me will continue to add to the love and abundance I already have NOW!!!

    • Shelly Bullard on February 12, 2015 at 5:50 pm

      Beautiful. xo

  4. Sarah on February 12, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    Thank you Shelly for this beautiful piece. Reading your articles always fills me with love and compassion for myself and all of humankind. Your messages are always so inspirational… thank you sincerely.

    • Shelly Bullard on February 12, 2015 at 5:51 pm

      Thank you for saying that, Sarah. xo

  5. Shweta on February 13, 2015 at 7:40 am

    Hello Shelly,
    Great article, In past I use to chase people and forgot to love myself, after following your articles, now I have drastically changed and I love myself more than anything else in this world and I feel blessed.


    • Shelly Bullard on February 13, 2015 at 3:05 pm

      Beautiful to hear, Shewta!! xo

  6. N on February 14, 2015 at 12:33 am

    This article found me at the perfect time, and helped so much. When I imagined the people that I love, I really felt myself hug each of them one by one, and I felt soothed and loved myself also. I’ve been very sad and confused for two days, and your guidelines had a beautiful flow that led me into feelings of love. And hope, as well as more insight into myself. I was happy for a chance to express appreciation for myself, others in my life, animals and nature, and love itself. And what you wrote in your comments, about the delusion being that we need to GET love, that directly hit home for the internal state I’ve been in. Thanks so much for this and your other articles.

    • Shelly Bullard on February 14, 2015 at 2:48 am

      I’m so glad it resonated for you so deeply, N. Beautiful. xo

  7. Sibylle Meder on February 14, 2015 at 7:22 am

    Thank you, Shelly, for these wonderful thoughts and inspirations and a very happy Valentine’s Day to you and everyone!Love is really what is at the root of everything we do, so I find this a great ritual to include into my everyday life. Coming from a place of love in any relationship – with yourself, with other people, with your work, your surroundings – is such an inspiring energy. As a result of reflecting on these questions I feel charged up with happiness and ready for a beautiful day now. The sun is out, too! 🙂
    Thanks again for writing this!
    Lots of love and wishing you many more inspirations for your good work!

  8. Lerato on February 14, 2015 at 9:35 am

    My name means love in Sesotho language. And this piece speaks to what I am currently moving towards in my life. It encapsulates my wonderful blessings and the incredible opportunities I have had thus far. I almost got carried away with the 3rd and 4th exercise because I see so much in nature and I can’t wait for what the future will bring. I am so excited. Thank you for this. It’s really inspiring.

    • Shelly Bullard on February 14, 2015 at 12:37 am

      I’m so glad you like it! And I love that your name means love. 🙂

  9. Kendra Wilber on February 14, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    I read this a couple days ago and loved the idea. I just finished the practice and I feel great. Charged up for what is to come! Thanks so much for taking time to write this practice. I’ve shared with a friend that is going down a dark path, hopefully she uses it to go journey to towards the light of love.In the last two months I’ve gone through some lifestyle changes and have been taking one step at a time to something happier and healthier for myself. Your articles are very enlightening, uplifting and motivating! Appreciate all the work you’ve been doing! Keep it up and Happy Love Day!

    • Shelly Bullard on February 15, 2015 at 8:27 pm

      I’m so happy it felt good to you, Kendra, and I hope it helps your friend, too. Sending love to you. xoxox

  10. Fern on February 15, 2015 at 5:07 am

    Shelly, I just capped off my Valentine’s Day (or self-love day) with this beautiful ritual and it really was exactly what I needed – first Valentine’s Day single in 6 years… and I am feeling the most LOVED right NOW because I am truly in a place where I am respecting myself, am confident, and am feeling worthy and whole inside, and so deeply grateful. Thank you for this healing exercise, it really resonated with me – especially the gratitude list and calling in all the wonderful things to come. I can’t wait to share it with my clients and community who may certainly benefit! XO

    • Shelly Bullard on February 15, 2015 at 8:27 pm

      So awesome, Fern!!! Happy to hear it. Sending so much love to you! xo

  11. john on March 8, 2015 at 3:09 am

    Just seperated, and the reflection in the mirrorlooks, not quite the same as I use to see. Trying
    to put a little love back into myself.Working on
    it. Could use some TLC. in myself and some
    of your insite.Looking forward not backwards ,

Before you dive any deeper...

Hi, I’m Shelly!

I’m a relationship coach, licensed marriage & family therapist, wife, girl mom, world traveler and… a damn good manifesting teacher.

On any random Saturday, you could find me hiking in the Redwoods with my family during the day AND relaxing to all songs on 🎶the foggy jazz🎶 station on Spotify in the evening with my man…

I’ve helped 125,000+ expansive, beautiful humans manifest their desires through my YouTube channel.

Over the last decade, I transformed my love life… I went from feeling terrified that I may never find love or have a family of my own to manifesting marriage, my baby, our dream home, and so much more. Now, I want to help you do the same.

Hey love! Let’s manifest love, relationships & wealth together.

You with me?

Tired of the same old inbox experience? Think of me as your manifestation big sister, here to guide and inspire you in relentlessly claiming your beautiful desires. I’m here to deliver a blend of affirmations, meditations, visualizations, real-life love stories and practical manifestation tools right into your inbox.






The 3 Most Important Steps to Manifest Your Specific Person



4 Steps to Manifest the Greatest Love of Your Life



7 Easy & Unexpected Ways to Manifest Money



3 Self Love Journal Prompts That Will Change Your Life