: 29 July 2014

How to Attract a Great Partner Into Your Life

I know you’re wanting to attract great love. A person who will be an incredible partner to you. A guy who sets your heart on fire; someone you can trust and be with long-term.
I want you to know that you can have him. In fact, you can have him fast.

Even if you’ve been searching for love for awhile and you haven’t been able to find it, there is one secret that you must know about that will bring a great person to you. And it is this:

You must feel fulfilled by your life in order for a fulfilling man to arrive into your life.

When you are able to do this, opportunities for great relationships will appear in front of you. Let me explain why:

Most of us, when single, become hyper-focused on the lack of a partner. We feel like something’s missing. We’re consumed with the fact that he isn’t here yet.

While focusing all this energy on not having a relationship, you attract more of the same: Not having a relationship!! And that’s not what you want, is it?!

When you’re able to feel fulfilled before he gets here — when you’re happy, confident and content regardless of your relationship status — then a man becomes the bonus to your incredible life. He’s not your “goal” anymore; he’s the addition to what’s already good. Ironically, this is the most attractive quality a woman can have.

I know it might sound difficult to feel fulfilled before your love arrives, especially if you really want a relationship. But let me assure you, it’s not as hard as you think. The essential step to making it happen is connecting to the deep sense of love, source, passion, life, excitement, and exuberance that naturally lives within you. 

We’ve all had experiences of feeling beautiful, aligned, connected, happy, joyful, and fulfilled from the inside-out. All these good feelings live inside of you; they’re yours to access whenever you want, if you choose to do so. When you create a practice of connecting to this love over and over again, you begin to feel fulfilled from the inside-out.

And this is what attracts a partner to you. 

To get you started on this path, here are three easy practices that will help you feel fulfilled from the inside-out. Practice these daily, and watch how it impacts the attraction and attention you get from men as a result.

1) Heart Meditation

Close your eyes, take a few breaths, and focus on the area around your heart.

While you are keeping your attention there, start to think about memories or thoughts that make you very happy. This could be people you love, places you like to visit, or anything else that makes your heart sing.

Notice how the love within you easily grows and grows, just from you stretching you imagination and tapping into the love that already exists inside you. If you do this daily you’ll feel incredible, and be glowing as a result.

2) Gratitude

Gratitude puts us in an incredible mood because it helps us realize that we already have so much! Again, often when we crave a relationship, we’re focused on not having a man. This deflates our energy.

Instead, focus on all the things you do have, and watch your happiness and contentment levels soar. Staying in the mentality of having will keep you feel fulfilled, and attractive, as a result.

3) Self-Appreciation

You are an incredible woman. If you don’t know that deep down, you won’t be able to feel a man’s love for you.

At night before you go to sleep, write a love note to yourself. List all the things you love about yourself, and feel how special you are. The more you regard yourself as a catch, the more a man will, too.

Remember, you have to feel incredibly fulfilled in your life if you want to attract a man to create a fulfilling relationship with. Practice these steps, connect with your soul, feel the love that lives within you, and you truly can have anyone you want.

Please leave a comment below telling us one practice you are going to start to feel fulfilled from the inside-out, helping you attract in the man of your dreams. I look forward to hearing from you!


  1. Caroline on July 30, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    Thank you for this Shelly. I am going to start with the self-appreciating, I think it’s just what I need and this lovely post arrived at just the right time. I have metta (loving kindness) practice for my heart centre & a daily practice of gratitude for…well, for everything really! I will post back to let you know how it goes, I do have an issue with this one (don’t we all at some point) thank you so much for your insight and wisdom sharing, it is always so uplifting to read. <3

    • Shelly Bullard on July 31, 2014 at 1:16 am

      You’re so welcome Caroline! Excited to hear how it all goes for you! Sending love, xo

      • Caroline on August 8, 2014 at 9:42 pm

        I’m baaaack! ☺️ well, the report from the week of the love note, gratitude and heart meditation is this -AWEinspiring. Such a small technique brought a whole heap of changes in my home. The first night was pretty excruciating if I’m honest & I struggled to find what to write, but since then I stuck with it and things are changing.What is truly fab, is that I decided to bring this love note idea to my two teenage girls, at first of course they were cringing. I didn’t want to see what they wrote, but it opened up a beautiful narrative between us. Then I decided to hang a home made gratitude chart in the kitchen so my son could get involved too. What is striking is this – I’m not in the market for a man right now, but I love reading your articles. I’m in the market for getting my life fulfilled from within. By sharing the love the ripple effect is amazing and my whole house feels filled with lighter energy. Also, one last thing, I feel your authenticity – this isn’t some shallow attempt to hook people up by singing the “happily ever after” song. This is real, and it’s truth and you’ve been there. You’ve been upfront and honest about that, I think when we feel that authenticity we connect more deeply with what is being said. With lots of gratitude xo

  2. Kirsten on July 31, 2014 at 6:09 am

    Great advice!! I’m going to try the heart meditation tonight. Thank you!!

    • Shelly Bullard on August 1, 2014 at 4:20 pm

      Go Girl!

  3. Duy on July 31, 2014 at 8:47 am

    Thank you for thisI do all these things that you have shared here and yes man coming to my life but all of them is just want to have a relationship without commitment
    And what happens for example some of things sharing starts and man says he not want to give any commitment and just want to see you occosionally
    İ reject such a way of communication but what happens already some of things shared
    What will you recommend ?

    • Shelly Bullard on August 1, 2014 at 4:20 pm

      You have to look at your issues with commitment. I just wrote an article about that so stay tuned…. 🙂

  4. gretchen on July 31, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    This is helpful. Providing tools that can help create that state of fulfillment is empowering and helpfulThanks Shelly

    • Shelly Bullard on August 1, 2014 at 4:21 pm

      Yes! Thank you, Gretchen!

  5. Kristi on July 31, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    I think this is great and really true advice. The only thing I can add from my own experience (single mom, 4 kids, been almost 5 years alone now)…even when I feel mostly “happy and fulfilled,” as soon as I feel like I have met a man I could see sharing the rest of life with my children and me, it becomes extremely difficult to maintain that balance of independence and confidence. It’s just so much harder when you do actually feel needy for legitimate reasons. And a breakup (in my case after almost 2 years developing something that ultimately ended) is so much harder. To me it’s worse on my heart / mind than the ending of the marriage 5 years ago. Tough to feel “whole” when a situational factor like this comes into play.

    • Dana on July 31, 2014 at 9:40 pm

      Kristi — I think you’re absolutely right. This has been a major struggle for me as well. I have been ill for the past few years to the point where I had to resign from my job earlier this month. I have lost most of my friends. I can’t do a lot of things because I have chronic pain. I have pretty much been in bed since last November. I am struggling to just stay alive and remain in my home and not end up on the streets. I struggle with suicidal thoughts because I can’t stand my situation. I used to be so much more vital and curious and playful, but now I just don’t have the energy. It’s horrible because I’m very cognizant of how much I have lost. I know the awesome woman I used to be is still here somewhere, but most men wouldn’t take the time to find her because on the surface, everything is such a hot mess. I’m smart, funny, creative, independent, but I feel like all anyone sees is my illness. I met a man several weeks ago, but I’m afraid he won’t want to be in a proper relationship with me because of all my baggage. I don’t know. Guess we’ll see.

      • Shelly Bullard on August 1, 2014 at 4:19 pm

        Dana, it sounds like all you see is your illness. I hope this video can help and inspire you: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14451/how-i-went-from-wheelchair-to-walking-by-changing-my-diet-dr-terry-wahls.html

        • Dana on August 2, 2014 at 1:28 am

          Hey, Shelly, that is a fantastic video! Thank you for sharing it with me. I already try to buy all organic food. Last fall I wanted to go all organic raw vegan. I started juicing and loved it, but now it’s hard for me to take the time to prepare all that stuff. I eat a lot of junk like Easy Mac because it doesn’t require any prep work. I’m also on a lot of medications with serious side effects. I can’t drive or walk very far because I am so out of it. I’m uncoordinated like being drunk. I bump into my doorways. Anyway, this makes it hard for me to go to my food co-op to buy good food. Mostly I go to the gas station a couple blocks away and buy pre-packaged garbage that’s full of chemicals and preservatives. I know it’s horrible. I keep hoping that something is going to work and I will eventually feel better, but maybe now it’s time to make more of an effort to move and get back to eating better. Thanks again for sharing this video with me. It’s really inspired me to take my health back into my own hands and away from all the doctors and pills.

    • Shelly Bullard on August 1, 2014 at 4:22 pm

      Yes – we can make men into the ultimate Source of happiness. Essentially, we make him God. This is the ultimate practice – keeping your sense of happiness even when a man comes into your life. It’s a practice – you can do it!

      • Kristi on August 3, 2014 at 1:37 pm

        Thank you again! 🙂

  6. Cristina on July 31, 2014 at 3:54 pm

    HI Stella I love all your articles they are awesome….I actually help people to get in touch With the angels through my sessions doing meditation and also being grateful with life…..I have a notebook near my bed so every night I hice God and The angels thanks for all what we have in this planet… thanks Shelly you are an amazing woman….!!!!!!

    • Shelly Bullard on August 1, 2014 at 4:23 pm

      Thank you!

  7. Jon on July 31, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    Spot on as always Shelly. Great work, keep it up!

    • Shelly Bullard on August 1, 2014 at 4:15 pm

      Thanks Jon!

  8. Shireene on July 31, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    Hi Shelly, wow this article really talks to me. I have always struggled to attract men to meand even though I think I’m beautiful, I also think that men won’t look at me because I’m fat or I look stuck up. But I know that I’m not fullfilled inside. Because I want a man so badly I feel depressed most of the time, this makes me smile less it makes me feel like I want to just get in a hole and stay there because why would someone want me. I’m 35 yrs old, I have a successful career in the bank, I’m a single mom with 2 sons. I want to feel happy inside all the time whether I have a man or not. Its hard when you look in the street and see couples everywhere and I’m always alone. I have had one man in my entire life and that only lasted 3 years. We’ve been divorced 5 years and in that time not one guy has ever flirted with me let alone asked me out on a date. And I can truly say that I am over the divorce, but I do dislike him as he doesn’t take care of his kids like a father should. He sees them once every 3 mnths sometimes longer. For that reason we don’t gt along bt I am glad that I experienced marriage as I have learnt from my mistakes and know what I want in a man. I am really going to try your advice, I hope I can be happy with myself everyday even without a man but do hope I meet my soulmate. Yours truly from South Africa

    • Shelly Bullard on August 1, 2014 at 4:18 pm

      You really have to change your outlook on life – forgive the ex, accept him as he is, see beauty in the love that surrounds you, etc. When you change the inside, your outer experience will change, too. Thank you for your comment! xoxox

  9. Viveca Chatlein on August 1, 2014 at 11:15 am

    Thank you for posting these tips on how to attract a great man Shelly.
    I do work daily on the gratitude side of all by thanking and being grateful everyday for everything in my present life. I have a job, I am a very social person, my weekends are filled with social events because I love to be and meet people. I have to work on the self-appreciation side of myself though.

    I moved out a year ago after being in a relationship for almost 15 years! I know that I no longer want to be the “caretaker”” in a future relationship and I know the aspect how not to attract needy man in my life anymore to be an issue.
    I know and have deep conversations with myself and within myself as to what I want for myself.What makes me happy instead.

    So I am grateful for your advice and articles. They are very welcome and helpful.

    Kind regards from the Netherlands.

    • Shelly Bullard on August 1, 2014 at 4:14 pm

      Lovely, Viveca. Beautiful.

  10. Jessica Cannon on August 3, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    I think I would like to practice the Heart Meditation. It seems a little difficult for me, but I LOVE to expand my energy outwards, and love it when others do, too.:)

    • Jessica Cannon on August 3, 2014 at 4:13 pm

      To your love,
      ~Jessica Cannon

  11. Amy on August 8, 2014 at 1:11 am

    Life is pretty amzing! I have a great deal to be thankful for and know I have a great deal to offer. There is a man love a great deal and would like to spend my life with. We lived together for 9 years and he went through a bad divorce. He told me he was not able to commit. I decided to move out and within 8 months he decided to have a girl 15 years younger than him move in. In the past six months, he told me it was premature of him to have her move it after getting to know her. He wants to marry me, but continues to help this girl and keep her address at his house. I asked him why he continues to have this girls mailing address at his house. He told me its none of my business and I should assuming things.I know this is a stupid question, but isnt that not healthy. Please give advice.

    Thank you

    • Shelly Bullard on August 8, 2014 at 3:41 am

      He’s unavailable.

  12. Tricia on August 9, 2014 at 3:48 am

    Writing Love Notes to My (True) Self is such a fascinating and novel idea… I believe it is exactly what The Doctor of True Love requires! Thank you for reminding me to remember to Love My Self!

  13. Ashley on August 9, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    I think I’m going to start with self-appreciation. I just recently found out that my “soul-mate” for almost two years has been seeing another woman in his free time. I’ve realized that I don’t NEED him to make me happy right now. I need to worry about me and how I can appreciate everything about myself! I just don’t know where to start. I feel like I’ve been lost in our relationship for so long. Any advice?

    • Shelly Bullard on August 10, 2014 at 4:32 pm

      Find love within yourself. You are your own Soul Mate, first and foremost.

  14. Maureen on August 13, 2014 at 6:00 pm

    I am trying to remain positive & hopeful. I do love myself & am perfectly fine with being single most of the time. I enjoy my own company. With that being said, I love having a man who loves me, to share my life with. The problem is once I finally think I’ve found a decent one, they don’t stick around long. They bolt at the first bump in the road. So, my trust in men is definitely lacking. But, I see women all the time bounce from one relationship to the next, making it look so easy, & they are needy women. They can’t be alone because they don’t love themselves. To me, it seems that men are attracted to that?? In my experience, men need to feel needed. And many may say they want a strong, independent woman, but in reality, it is not what I have experienced. I have several amazing, beautiful inside & out girlfriends, & like me, they all struggle with finding a good man. One of the most frustrating things for me is meeting guys who say all the right things in the beginning, make all these false promises to win you over, & then once they have & you let your guard down, they just disappear. Classic Houdini syndrome. Why is it seemingly so easy for so many to find relationships, & so hard for a select few of us, whom, if I do say so myself, ROCK. Any guy would be lucky to have any of us. I get that it is good that we are not settling, but come on, there have got to be some good guys out there…why so hard to find them? Or not be fooled by the ones faking it? I’m all ears for any advice! 🙂

    • Shelly Bullard on August 16, 2014 at 7:21 pm

      We automatically attract (and are attracted to) the people who are going to teach us lessons. Therefore, if you keep running into the same experience with men, it means you have to change YOUR belief system about relationships to change that experience. It sounds like you have some strong beliefs about what men like, etc – these are dictating your reality. Change your beliefs and your experience with men will change, too.

  15. kbzaveri on September 14, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    Hi Shelly thanks ,I like all your posts, I am single since 15 years,off late I have been practising gratitude,etc.Since then everything seems to be falling in place .How ever just about a forthnight back when ever I manfiest or think of a soul mate ,a particular person whom I was conncted to and parted away comes into my mind.When I ask myself what kind of soulmate I want this person comes into my mind.In these many years he never came across my thoughts,I am trying to understand weather is he my soul mate who will re – enter my life,should I manifest him in my mind as my soulmate or is this some kind of an indication.Please can you guide me.

    • Shelly Bullard on September 15, 2014 at 10:25 pm

      I don’t know – you’ll probably attract him or someone like him into your life. We have many Soul Mates.

  16. kbzaveri on September 16, 2014 at 4:28 pm

    Hi Shelly thanks,hope all falls in place…

Before you dive any deeper...

Hi, I’m Shelly!

I’m a relationship coach, licensed marriage & family therapist, wife, girl mom, world traveler and… a damn good manifesting teacher.

On any random Saturday, you could find me hiking in the Redwoods with my family during the day AND relaxing to all songs on 🎶the foggy jazz🎶 station on Spotify in the evening with my man…

I’ve helped 125,000+ expansive, beautiful humans manifest their desires through my YouTube channel.

Over the last decade, I transformed my love life… I went from feeling terrified that I may never find love or have a family of my own to manifesting marriage, my baby, our dream home, and so much more. Now, I want to help you do the same.

Hey love! Let’s manifest love, relationships & wealth together.

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Tired of the same old inbox experience? Think of me as your manifestation big sister, here to guide and inspire you in relentlessly claiming your beautiful desires. I’m here to deliver a blend of affirmations, meditations, visualizations, real-life love stories and practical manifestation tools right into your inbox.






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