: 04 May 2014

The Biggest Mistake Women Make With Men

In this video, I tell you the biggest mistake I see women make with men, and how to stop doing it.
Unfortunately, I see so many women making this mistake all the time! And they don’t understand how much it’s sabotaging their experience in love.

This one thing is guaranteed to push a man away.

I used to make this mistake a ton in my past. But when I finally learned about attraction between men and women, and I stopped doing it — my self-confidence grew as a result, as did men’s attraction for me.

To find out what this mistake is and how to stop doing it, watch the video below:


  1. Olja on May 13, 2014 at 5:05 pm

    Dear Shelly,you are so right.I realized that I have a tendency to completely lose myself in relationships and every time I did that I regret it in the future.Thank you so much because until you said it I didn’t knew what I was doing wrong.

    • Shelly Bullard on May 14, 2014 at 4:03 pm

      I’m so glad you had an Ah-Ha moment, Olja!! xo

  2. Mark Charlton on May 14, 2014 at 11:02 pm

    Hi ShelleyThanks for the great video! I’m a guy attracted to guys and I totally relate to what you said, not only in relationships but in friendships too. I’ve worked really hard lately to keep coming back to my centre, over and over, and it definitely changes my experience of the world…and also people’s experience of me. There’s no reaching out and desperation (so unattractive!) when you’re anchored in this way. I’m taking a ”relationship fast” for 3-6 months while I work all this stuff out! Thanks again.

    • Shelly Bullard on May 15, 2014 at 6:43 pm

      Awesome Mark!! Very cool. That relationship fast will do wonders for you — clean up what’s going on internally, focus on loving you, and you’ll be stoked about the guys that make their way into your life when you’re ready to be out there again. Thank you so much for your comment!! xo

  3. bebby on May 21, 2014 at 8:16 am

    Dear Shelly
    i tottally agree with you..
    when i put hyperautofocus on my man, he dont like it yess itrs true,
    so we can’t love or put our focus on other person especially man in our whole life then ?
    in other words we married ourself internally
    im still learning to understand love in a relationship with my man, I got a glimpse about self love which Im so easily forget and really need a lifetime practice !!

    I was so afraid to start a relationship with a man because afraid to lose my self in that relationship..
    please help me to understand this through you, because you are so vulnerable
    i could easily understand to whatever words that came out from you
    lot of thanks

    • Shelly Bullard on May 21, 2014 at 2:20 pm

      You can love him, but not lose yourself while loving him. It is possible to remain focused on yourself while you love him. This is the key.

  4. Emerald Pena on June 3, 2014 at 2:59 am

    When I got together with my current boyfriend/father of my 3 children, I had a lot of confidence in myself and a whol lot of friends I would hang out with. Now I’m at home with my children and don’t have even one person I could call just to vent my feelings to. He is always gone and when he’s not working he’s trying to find something to do to make a little extra cash. I constantly wait by the phone and watch out the windows for him to come home. I do everything for him, when he gets home he never has to lift a finger. I have put more time and energy into him than he has for me for sure. I can’t even get him to sack the trash on his way out the door. Is my time and effort all in vain? Six years we’ve been together and I love him with all my heart. I know he loves me too, but how much? Is he in love with me or does he just love me. I know he feels smothered sometimes when he’s home because I’m so happy he’s home that I follow him around like a puppy. How pathetic, right? That’s probably why he stays gone as long as possible too. I don’t know what to do. Please help me. I’m not good at this stuff.

    • Shelly Bullard on June 3, 2014 at 3:26 pm

      Wow – I hate to tell you this, Emerald, but you really set yourself up for this relationship to not feel good. You have completely lost yourself to everything else in your life. Of course he feels smothered! You’re waiting for him to come home like a puppy! Men like women who have their own lives – who are strong and confident. You need to work on loving yourself, pursuing your passions (not him, other things), and building yourself up from the inside-out. Then you’ll get his attention. If you keep up with what you’ve been doing, my prediction is the relationship with not work out – it’s too much pressure on him. It doesn’t feel good.

  5. Meercy on September 12, 2014 at 8:45 pm

    I lost myself in my relationship with my fiancé, i feared to be abandoned, I couldn’t stop callin, texting him, talking about him and thinking of him, I just had no life anymore, I was centered on him, I got gloomy and sad while doing this because I was no longer taking care of me and giving time to the inner me, after so many sessions on centering meditation and reading you words about “Why You Feel Trapped & Abandoned in Relationships” it helped me figuring it out, and this video did too, I just wanna thank you so much, you help me see thing clearly and in a healthy way, God bless you!!

    • Shelly Bullard on September 13, 2014 at 8:28 pm

      I’m so glad it helped you, Meercy. Love to you. xo

Before you dive any deeper...

Hi, I’m Shelly!

I’m a relationship coach, licensed marriage & family therapist, wife, girl mom, world traveler and… a damn good manifesting teacher.

On any random Saturday, you could find me hiking in the Redwoods with my family during the day AND relaxing to all songs on 🎶the foggy jazz🎶 station on Spotify in the evening with my man…

I’ve helped 125,000+ expansive, beautiful humans manifest their desires through my YouTube channel.

Over the last decade, I transformed my love life… I went from feeling terrified that I may never find love or have a family of my own to manifesting marriage, my baby, our dream home, and so much more. Now, I want to help you do the same.

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