: 20 October 2016

The Secret Formula to Attracting Love

Connection is what we all desire. Feeling seen, known, met, and deeply bonded with another person is what life is all about.

Love, undoubtedly, is sweetest experience there is.

And yet, many of us struggle with attracting great love into our lives. We want it so badly, yet it feels so far away.

Why is it finding love so hard? The answer is simple: We’re not being love, so it can’t show up in front of us.

We’re creating our realities from the inside-out. Your relationships mirror back to you how you feel about yourself, what you believe about relationships, and how much love you’re embodying in your life.

Because of this, when you become the embodiment of love, love has no choice but to appear in front of you in all forms (including an incredible partnership).

Below are 8 steps that will transform your internal experience of love so you can attract the greatest love of your life. Become love on the inside, and it has no choice but to come to you.

1. Locate love within yourself.

Everything you create in your life starts from within you. If you want to create great love, you have to become great love first.

This is actually easy to do. Love, acceptance, connection, and bliss are all energies that are sourced from within. You can find this inner-love by being quiet with yourself, following your breath, focusing on the energy near your heart, and setting the intention to connect into your truth.

By diving deep into yourself, what you’ll find is love. Locate and grow that love from within and you will attract much more of it into your life.

2. Examine your blocks to love.

The reason attracting love is so challenging is because we all carry blocks to love.

These blocks are beliefs that tell you that can’t have the love you want. The good news is: they’re easy to overcome, as long as you know what they are.

To discover your blocks to love, simply ask yourself this question: “Where do I doubt that I can have a great relationship?” The answer will show you exactly what beliefs you need to call into question, so you can transform your experience in love.

When you locate your limiting beliefs, you can begin to question if they’re really true. This process is how you’ll transcend your blocks to love, so you can attract the type of relationship you really want.

3. Forgive and let go of your past.

To create a new experience in love, you have to have an internal “clean slate.” Meaning, you have to forgive and let go of the ways you’ve been hurt in past relationships.

Like I said above, we’re creating our realities from the inside-out. Any resentments you hold will continue to show-up in life today, until you’re ready to let them go.

So how do you do this? By cultivating compassion for the human experience.

We’ve all been hurt in the past, and we’ve all hurt others. This hurt stems from one thing only: the wounding we carry within ourselves.

As we heal our own wounds, we find compassion for the wounds of others. This how forgiveness takes place; this is how we create a new reality in love.

4. Get clear about the type of relationship you desire.

What kind of relationship do you want to be in? What will it feel like to be partnered with the love of your life?

By knowing the answers to these questions, you create a map of what you desire. This map will show you what energies to cultivate in your own life. This process is the cornerstone of attracting great love to you.

5. Cultivate the experience of that love from within.

Your energy is attracting experiences to you. The people that match your energetic frequency will automatically show up in your life.

By using your answers from #4 above, you can then cultivate those energetic qualities from within. It look like this:

If you want to feel deeply adored by a partner, you start by imagining and cultivating the experience of being deeply adored within yourself.  What does being adored feel like? Get familiar with the experience within and you will call it to you.

6. Treat yourself the way you want to treated.

People will always treat you how you treat yourself. They will reflect back to you how you feel about yourself and what you expect to receive from others.

To attract an incredible partnership into your life, you have to create an incredible partnership with yourself!

Love yourself, listen to yourself, honor yourself, cherish yourself… whatever that means to you! By knowing how incredible and worthy you truly are, you will call in partners who will see and experience you as incredible and worthy, too.

7. Trust. Let this process unfold naturally.

There is divine orchestration in life. The formula is simple: You create what you are.

Once you understand this truth, you can do the internal work and watch the results unfold in your life. This, as we all know, is not easy to do.

We like to be in control; we like to be the orchestrators. And this is because we’re scared. Scared that love won’t come; scared that we won’t get what we want.

I want to be clear when I say: we can’t attract love from fear; we can’t attract love when we’re trying to control the process. We can only attract love from love. Which is why we have to trust, let go, and allow the process unfold naturally.

If you find yourself trying to control the outcome, simply continue with the steps above. Cultivate love from within and know that as you embody the essence of love, it has no choice but to come to you.

8. Let love lead the way.

Love is always your guide.

Love is the light that shines from within and creates beauty everywhere you look.

Become that love that you already are – feel it, listen to it, and let it guide you in your life. Love, after all, is one thing that always knows the way.

Please leave a comment below telling us what you’re going to do to become love so you can attract an incredible relationship into your life. I look forward to hearing from you. xo


  1. Danitza on October 23, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    Being grateful is a way of attracting love too. 🙂

    • Shelly Bullard on May 23, 2017 at 6:44 am


  2. Alexandra Fin on November 27, 2016 at 5:45 am

    Hi Shelley, I have a question about this process. Over the last 2/3 years I have been on a journey discovering the love within me as well as identifying the love blocks I have had since my childhood. The transformation in my life has been incredible. I am happier, healthier, calmer and kinder (to myself and others). I am less controlling, in fact I love change and embrace opportunities to grow. However, despite all this, the most recent relationship I have attracted has left me with an aching heart. He is the kindest most thoughtful person I have ever met. I have learnt so many lessons just being with him that I no longer feel useless when it come to relationships. We discuss things openly, communicate feelings, listen to each other and exercise compassion towards eachother constantly. But, after all this time, after finally finding someone who helps me grow, rather than triggers every insecurity I have, he’s leaving to go and live on the other side of the world for 2 years. I suppose my question is this; why was this man attracted into my life? Was I attracting an unavailable partner again and I just couldn’t see it? Does this choice of partner have “love block” written all over it and I just read the situation wrong? I feel so confused. I knew I had to live vulnerably, so I persued it with him, but now I’m wondering if I missed a warning sign that I should have seen. Any help or guidance would be so appreciated. A x

    • Shelly Bullard on May 23, 2017 at 6:44 am

      He doesn’t sound unavailable to me. He sounds beautiful. And sometimes, we have to let love (people) come and go. This is love, too.

  3. Danitza on November 29, 2016 at 1:20 pm

    Hi Alexandra,the fact that he is leaving for two years doesn’t mean that he is running away from you. In fact, long distance relationships DO work if both of you are committed enough for your relationship. I would advise you to have an open conversation with him about your fears and worries as well as your expectatives and hopes to see if you two are willing to face the challenges of being apart for two years and reunite later.
    Whatever happens, I wish you the best!

Before you dive any deeper...

Hi, I’m Shelly!

I’m a relationship coach, licensed marriage & family therapist, wife, girl mom, world traveler and… a damn good manifesting teacher.

On any random Saturday, you could find me hiking in the Redwoods with my family during the day AND relaxing to all songs on 🎶the foggy jazz🎶 station on Spotify in the evening with my man…

I’ve helped 125,000+ expansive, beautiful humans manifest their desires through my YouTube channel.

Over the last decade, I transformed my love life… I went from feeling terrified that I may never find love or have a family of my own to manifesting marriage, my baby, our dream home, and so much more. Now, I want to help you do the same.

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