Dying to be in a Relationship? You Might Be Making This Mistake
One of the biggest mistakes people make when it comes to finding love is:
They believe a relationship is going to complete them.
What I mean is: We think a relationship is the missing key to us being happy.
If you're one of the many people who believes this (and no shame if you do), I'm sorry to tell you that this is not the how it works.
In fact, this faulty belief is keeping love away from you. Here's a couple reasons why:
1) Other people can feel it when we have anxiety about finding love.
Anytime you approach a relationship from a sense of emptiness inside - like something is missing and you're trying to fill a hole - it'll be sensed by the people you're dating. And it won't feel good to them.
When you're confident, your vibe goes something like this, "It's nice to meet you and we'll see if I want to continue spending time with you." Cool, calm, collected, and very intriguing.
But when you have that underlying need to find a relationship, you're entire vibe changes. It feels more like this, "Do you like me?"
These are two totally different stances, and they're both portrayed simply through your energy.
The first is highly attractive and the second sabotages love (and repels people away). Needless to say, this is a big problem if you're looking for love.
2) We attract experiences that match how we feel on the inside.
If you feel like something's missing in your life, then proof of that perception will keep showing up.
Meaning, you'll continue to feel like something's missing in your life!
For example, if you're preoccupied with finding a partner and hyper-focused on not having one, you'll continue to see the same results of not having a partner. You'll either remain single, or find a relationship that makes you feel unfulfilled. Not the outcomes we're looking for when we desire to have a loving partnership.
So, knowing all this, what can you do about it?
How can you shift to feel more secure, at ease, present, and confident when you're looking for love?
You start by searching for the feelings you think a relationship will bring you, inside yourself.
I know at first you glance might be skeptical - you may think it's impossible for you to feel connected, loved, held and taken care of without a partner. But I promise you, you can.
And the most beautiful thing about this process is, once you ground into these feelings inside yourself, you'll become a magnetic to a relationship that makes you feel this way, too.
People tend overcomplicate this experience, which is called self-love. And while the mind might have a hard time understanding it, if you take a moment to drop into your heart, you will know exactly what I mean.
Self-love is the sense of finding peace, happiness, contentment, acceptance, and love inside yourself.
A few ways self-love flourishes is by quieting mind, opening heart, and a connecting to your inner voice.
- You find self-love in a yoga practice
- You find self-love when you meditate
- You find self-love when you journal, go to therapy, and get to know yourself
- You find self-love by setting aside quiet time to just be with you
The secret is this: you have to feel good being you before you find a relationship that you feel good in.
By creating a practice of finding peace, strength, happiness, and fulfillment within, the sense of craving something outside of you to feel good will start to dissipate. And when this happens, ironically, everything you've always wanted, including an incredible relationship, will make it's way to you.
Please leave a comment below telling us how you're going to find love within yourself first, and let that be the foundation of all your relationships. I look forward to hearing from you.