Overcome Loneliness & Find Your Tribe
People desire to feel connected. It’s one of the most innate aspects of our Being.
And yet, even in this time of global connection, so many people still feel isolated and alone. There’s a deep craving to be a part of community and to find your “tribe.”
I have craved that as well in my own life, and this past year I made a breakthrough in creating my ideal community. I finally discovered what was getting in the way of me finding my tribe, and I did the internal work to manifest deep friendships that I'd been longing for for years.
In this article, I’d like to share my process with you - what limiting beliefs I had to let go of and the mindset I had to build - to attract the the type of friendships my heart has been wanting for a very long time.
I hope that by sharing my path with you, you’ll also be able to manifest a community of people that feel like “home.”
Step 1: Examine what’s blocking you from finding your community.
In other words, what beliefs or experiences are you having right now that are standing in the way of you creating the community you desire?
For me, this was a very vulnerable question to ask, which is why I avoided it for so many years. It meant I had to come face to face with the loneliness I had felt throughout my life.
And that wasn’t all...
On top of the loneliness was a ton of shame - shame that maybe loneliness meant something was wrong with me. I was scared to acknowledge my loneliness because I really didn’t want this to be true.
Yet this is a classic case of how we get stuck in realities that don’t work for us. Any feeling we refuse to feel (in my case, loneliness), gets “stuck” in our psyches, and continues to sink in, creating more of the same. In order to change, you have to actually look at and feel the uncomfortable feeling, and most people aren’t willing to do so.
So how did I do it?
With a lot of gentleness and ease.
I can remember sitting in my apartment, the loneliness was bubbling to the surface, and instead of pushing it down or trying to distract myself, I simply felt it.
“I feel lonely. That’s what's happening right now.”
Ironically, by acknowledging that I felt lonely, this experience loosened it’s grip. I could see that it was just a feeling, and that by simply feeling it, I could let it go.
Step 2: Ask yourself, “What do I want?”
After I acknowledged feeling lonely, the next step was to explore what I wanted to create as far as friendships.
What type of friendships feel good to me?
What would it feel like to have a “tribe”?
As I explored what I wanted in friendships, here’s what I came up with:
- Spirituality is at the center of my friendships, because it’s the center of my own life.
- I want to feel known, seen, heard and understood on a really deep level.
- I want to feel supported and cared for, and to give that back to my friends.
- I want to be friends with people who are deeply committed to their personal evolution.
By describing what I wanted in friendships, the essence of these relationships started to emerge for me energetically. I could feel “who” was in my tribe before it came into existence.
This is one of the cornerstones of manifesting - by getting to know what you want, you create a new vibration that calls this experience to you.
Step 3: Surrender
The final step, which is surrender, is either the easiest or hardest, depending on who you are.
Surrender is like saying, “Okay, I've done the inner work… now I'm going let go and see what happens.” If you have faith that this is how the Universe works, then surrender is easy. All you have to do is let go.
But if you don’t have faith (which is totally fine if you don’t), then surrender will be hard. Without faith, we think that we have to force new experiences into existence. Little do we know that this “force” creates tension or resistance in our vibrations, which then keeps what we desire from us.
I’ve manifested quite a few significant things in my life, and it works the exact same way every time: I acknowledge the block (i.e. loneliness), I create a new vibration (what I want), and then I literally forget about the whole thing and continue living my life, in the most aligned way possible. Manifesting my tribe happened the exact same way.
Soon after I did the inner work, I randomly felt a strong call to go on a retreat, and there I met the first member of my new tribe. We both felt like we had known each other for a long time, and our connection was deep from the very start. She embodied what I had been seeking in my friendships; I had no doubt that she appeared because of the internal work I had done.
I told her a few months after we met that I thought I manifested her, and she cracked a big smile and said, “I think I manifested you!” Turns out, she also had been asking for a friendship like the one we were in the process of creating.
What I hope you take from my experience is this: There are no limits to what you can create in your life.
Whether you're seeking partnership, abundance, a tribe or love… it is all available, waiting for you. You can create the life you desire - and it’s always going to happen from the inside-out.
Please leave a comment below listing the qualities of the tribe you want to manifest. I look forward to hearing from you!